by Patricia Parker

Created on: June 16, 2009

Its just so fortunate that Sam Walton was the driving force behind "Wal-Mart," because Wal-Mart is just so darn Americana.

Spending a lazy, rainy afternoon in one of those super stores is like entering a third dimension. Its hard to say where fantasy begins and reality ends. Its also an educational experience, a study in humanity, a lesson in economics, and a exhibition of man vs. the elements. Besides that, if you're really lucky, they pass out free samples. Wait, maybe I've got my super stores mixed up. No matter.

Any town with a population of five hundred or more boasts a Wal-Mart. All part of the industrious Sam Walton's plan to saturate our nation's fields and farms with "just reduced" signs. Who could possibly resist the come-on: "Was $4.99 now $4.87." This item is obviously way too good to pass up. And, the stuff they have cleverly positioned at the check out counters is unbelievable. Why just today while waiting in line for a woman to dig out her wallet ("I know its here somewhere, I just have to find it.") I threw an extra $8.00 worth of sugarless candy, toothpicks, a butane lighter, a 50cent pre-paid phone card, two packs of gum, a hair scrunchie, and a map of Iowa into my cart. Now, thats what I call marketing.

I make a habit of studying the buying public at every Wal-Mart I go into. Like the baseball nuts who want to visit every major league stadium before they die, I sort of have the same desire for Wal-Mart visits. There are definite regional differences. For example, I visited a Wal-Mart on my last trip to the deep South. There in the front of the store you could buy hush puppy batter, and for an extra buck get all the makings for grits. Try buying those items in Chicago. Chicago Wal-Marts have their own unique flavor, however. Tucked away in the sports department you can buy car flags proudly boasting your support of the Peoria Chiefs. Now that's a deal.

Its especially eye opening to visit one of the 24 hour Wal-Marts. Its beyond me why anyone needs to run out to Wal-Mart at 3:00 a.m., and buy a pair of flip flops or a soldering gun but who am I to judge. I guess I really don't want to know.

My recommendation would be to visit Wal-Mart during either a torrential rain storm or a blustering snow event. The parking lot is almost as much fun as the inside of the store. Its hard to avoid clipping an 80 year old woman as she dashes across the parking lot in her flip flops ... ah, now it becomes clear. She was in the store at 3:00 a.m. and just had to go back for a second pair.

So, if you're looking for a unique and interesting way to spend your time, and Wal-Mart hopes your money as well, I recommend a visit as soon as possible. Come prepared to spend the better part of a day, dress accordingly and take notes. I'll be waiting to hear what you have to say.

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