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I've never in my life turned down an offer to eat a hamburger. Never. Such a thing is border-line sacrilegious in my eyes. I've also never met a hamburger I didn't like. Sure, I've been acquainted with burgers I didn't necessarily love, but I'd never make one feel so bad as to not eat it.

From the kitchen of a fancy restaurant, off the backyard grill, or out the drive-thru window - I've tried them all. I honestly do not believe there is such a thing as a completely terrible hamburger. Burgers have all the ingredients of a win-win situation: the delicious honey wheat, white, whole grain, seasoned, whatever-your-specialty bun ... the juicy, luscious beef patty grilled or heated under a light bulb to absolute protection ... the extra accessories including a skirted layer of green, cool lettuce, half-dollars slices of tomatoes, and crunchy pickles. And let us not forget the delicious icing on the cake: ketchup, mustard, and mayo.

I just drooled.

Now, speaking honestly from one food connoisseur to another, eight out of ten times I'm too lazy to do my own cooking. But just because I'm a sloth does not mean that I want to sacrifice the well-being of my taste-buds, and it is not an uncommon sight to see me shamelessly peeling through a fast food parking lot more than once a week. It's too easy, too convenient. It's too delicious. It's too bad for my thighs.

Now where to go? In my specific city of residence there is an array of options available for gorging oneself on fast food. My typical choice of eatery (again, hinging on my laziness and how far I feel like driving) can be narrowed down to three, well-known burger havens:

McDonald's - The Classic
Everyone knows McDonald's. The golden arches are more globally recognizable than the statue of Cristo Redentor in Rio de Janeiro. I'm almost willing to bet that everyone, at one point or another, will eat at McDonald's in their lifetime. They're everywhere! It's almost impossible to walk out your front door and not trip into one. And there's a reason for that: it's awesome and cheap.

When I go to McDonald's I usually get one of two Value Meals- the Chicken McNuggets (if I've successfully convinced myself that eating fried chicken chunks is a healthy alternative to the Big Mac) or the Big and Tasty (when I've successfully convinced myself that buttoning the top of my jeans is unnecessary and a complete waste of time).

Now, let's discuss the Big and Tasty for a moment, shall we? This burger, nicknamed

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