by Juliannah Jamarin

Created on: June 16, 2009   Last Updated: June 17, 2009

Infidelity undoubtedly hurts everyone involved. When couples marry, they make a promise of faithfulness to each other. Unfortunately, infidelity does occur. Whatever the reason, it is still wrong.

Should a person tell their husband or wife if an indiscretion occurred? That depends on the situation. A one-time event, even though it is not right, is probably better off left alone. Even if there has been an affair with more than one encounter sometimes, it is better not to tell.

For example, maybe the couple had been having trouble in the marriage and had come to the conclusion they still wanted to be in the marriage and make their lives together work. In this case, telling the other spouse will only further hurt the marriage and the chances for that marriage to thrive.

When one spouse tells the other spouse of an affair it can relieve the guilt of the offending spouse, but it puts hurt, guilt and the burden of the affair on the betrayed spouse. That person now has to live with that knowledge every day for the rest of their lives. The thought of a spouse cheating never fully goes away. After some time it may not consume the person told of the affair, but the hurt remains.

There should be honesty in a marriage. Couples need to know that they can trust each other in order to feel safe and secure. However, sometimes honesty can hurt. People also make mistakes everyday. We are all human. Most people are not honest about everything in their lives. Most women do not tell other women if the dress they are wearing is ugly. Why? Because it will unnecessarily hurt the women with the ugly dress. If a spouse makes a mistake and is genuinely remorseful, it is possible a family can remain intact and have a good chance for survival.

Of course, there are many factors in the decision to tell a mate about an affair. One would be the possibility of sexually transmitted disease. Since there is always a chance of getting or passing a sexually transmitted disease a spouse that has cheated sexually should immediately undergo testing and if a disease is confirmed that person is obligated to tell their spouse.

Infidelity does no good for any party involved. Yes, it can be tempting because life and relationships are not always easy to maintain, but in the end, if an indiscretion does not occur then the dilemma of confessing does not need addressing. Nevertheless, couples can only decide what course of action is right for each other. Hopefully, most people will not ever have to face this terrible problem.

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