Leaving what is most precious to you in the hands of someone else, even for an hour, can be an excruciating experience. When grandparents or relatives are unavailable (as we have a tendency to trust our children with the people who took care of us a bit more), then a babysitter becomes necessary at times.
In order to have some modicum of peace while we are away, it is necessary to find a sitter who you feel will watch your children as closely as you would if you were there. So what qualities should a sitter have? Here are a few things that we looked for when we have chosen sitters in the past.
GENDER and AGE: Finding a sitter who is age and gender appropriate for your children is essential. If you have a ten-year girl old who needs to be watched for several hours, you might not want to choose a male sitter who is twelve years of age. The gap between them is close and your ten year old might not feel like he or she should have to obey someone who is only a year ahead of them in school. Also, having a 16-year-old male stay for a few hours with your 14-year-old daughter might not be a good idea, either. However, some sitters begin sitting at ages twelve or thirteen and watching a toddler for a few hours might prove to be more acceptable - as would a young gentleman watching over a much younger child.
CERTIFICATION: Most hospitals have babysitter programs where potential sitters may receive specialized training in how to hold and care for infants and toddlers. While this does not replace being infant and toddler CPR certified by an institution such as the Red Cross, it does ease a parent's mind if a sitter is required. If a person is babysitting for a living, requiring that he or she be CPR certified is absolutely recommended.
EXPERIENCE: Does the sitter come with recommendations? How much has he or she sat? Ask for references and then follow through with the calls. It is always better to speak with someone who has actually had interaction with the sitter and can give you first-hand information.
RESPECT: While you are away, you want to make sure that your sitter will respect the rules of your home. Let the sitter know upfront if you will require him or her to refrain from visitors, cell phone usage, or text messaging while you are away. Both are reasonable requests, since they should be watching your child(ren) and not pursuing a social life during the time you are away. Additionally, making sure that household rules about bed times, snacks, and video games should be discussed prior to setting the appointment with the sitter, so that he or she can make the decision about sitting for your family. If the children are of a reasonable age, they will tell you if she has followed the rules or not!
CHILD FRIENDLY: Choosing a sitter who loves children is mandatory. If an older person is sitting just to make ends meet, it does not necessarily mean that he or she is child-friendly and loves babies. If your children are high-energy, choose a sitter who can keep up with them and not get easily frustrated. Also, a sitter who is very young and has not developed the patience that comes with time and child-rearing might not be a good fit for your family. Ask the sitter to come over for a play date with the children prior to the night you will be out. Watch the interactions and then ask your child (if applicable) if he or she would mind playing with the sitter for a few hours. Including the child and valuing his or her opinion will make it safe for them to tell you if a personality change occurs once you step out the door.
Babysitting is not an easy job. It is more than just watching your infant's head or making sure that your toddler stays out of the medicine cabinet. It is a relationship between the sitter and your family that is based on trust. Choose wisely when asking someone to watch your little ones and do not hesitate to call frequently, if you need to, in order to rest easier while you are away.