I had a very positive experience with online dating, and five years ago met my husband on Match.com. You could say that I am living, breathing proof that it is possible, online, to meet a man that you could fall in love with and marry.
When I came out of my divorce from a 23-year-marriage, I hadn't a clue on how to date; my world was virtually devoid of possibilities. I remembered two decades back when women went on blind dates arranged by friends or met men at clubs or church or, occasionally, on the job. But I had no idea of how to jump into the dating pool at age 51. So I signed up for two dating sites, Senior Friendfinders, Match.com. I was surprised at the response I got.
Soon I was transformed into a social butterfly, meeting men at Starbucks, the mall and other places. It was fun! Online dating provided me with a readymade supply of available men, and there was none of this "cat-and-mouse" business of dating in the traditional way, where he would "chase you till you caught him."
With online dating, you know - right out of the gate - that the men are interested in meeting women, and that they are available. Some of them are primarily interested in sex. Others are lonely and want companionship, and still others are interested in eventually getting married.
I met some interesting men and some who were absolute charlatans (married and seeing women on the side). One man I met listed his occupation as "Horse Whisperer." BIG red flag! Who on earth is a horse whisperer? Another man I spoke with, a long-haul truck driver, told me that on his way through town, he wanted to "swing by and get another wife." I wasn't sure if he wanted to become a bigamist or was looking to lasso a wife at the Okay Corral. (I put him on the shelf with the Horse Whisperer.)
Here are some of the things I learned:
Be honest on your profile about your age, occupation, values, etc. If you exaggerate on your profile, you will have some explaining to do later. The same thing applies to the picture you post.
Don't put your real name on line because you don't want to leave yourself vulnerable to identity theft or someone finding out your address prematurely.
If you decide to give your phone number to someone you meet on a dating site, give him your cell number, not your landline.
Don't just read a profile, connect, and date. Take some time getting to know the person, both on line and over the phone.
Many men online are emerging from divorces, and they come with a lot of baggage. In fairness to the men, though, everyone comes with baggage. Just decide what kind of baggage that you are willing to put up with.
At first, have your dates meet you at a restaurant or coffee shop. It's a lot safer that way.
If you are going to date more than one person, it is considerate to let your other dates know that right now you are "playing the field."
When you go on a date, try not to dwell on your horrible ex-husband or other sad tales. No one wants to hear that in the beginning.
If you are my age (over 50) and dating, you can be pretty certain that most men in that age bracket are accustomed to paying the bill. If you are quite a bit younger, it is open to negotiation.
Nothing is certain whether you date men you meet online or elsewhere. Keep your eyes open, and if you don't feel "right" when you are with a date, it is probably your intuition telling you something. (If this happens in your date's car, ask him to pull up somewhere public (such as a well-lit minimart), excuse yourself to use the lady's room, and call a cab. Always think of your safety first.
Don't worry about finding "the one." When you do, you'll know it.
On the first date with my husband, Jeffery, we didn't really click. A few months later when I won a short-story contest, I e-mailed everyone in my Internet address book a copy of it. Only I forgot to attach the story to Jeffery's' e-mail. The next day I received an e-mail back from him that read, "Where's the beef?" And the rest is history!
I think that online dating is the best thing since hot fudge Sundays! You will meet some very interesting men and boost your ego.
Just remember to be careful, and have fun!