by Anthony Megna

Created on: June 15, 2009   Last Updated: October 11, 2011

If you insist on playing ear-splitting music in your car, then the ear doctor is ready and waiting to see you!

There is one person who is going to love these morons who jack up their car stereos, especially the bass function, more than they themselves and that is an ear, nose, and throat doctor! Specifically, the audiologist will love these mutes by the time they get old, because that is what is going to happen sooner or later. There are going to be a lot of people losing their hearing before they hit the ripe old age of fifty. Of course, I'm being facetious, but it's true. One can't crank up these mutant audio systems at the decibel level of a ramjet and think they're going to get away with it. Something has got to give, and that something are the anvils, stirrups and the other wonderful aspects of your ear.

Why? Why is it that while you're driving down the street it sounds like they are doing a remake of Godzilla vs. Andronicus right behind you? The thumping, bumping and hammering can be heard even in the most expensive soundproof cars, and one can even feel the vibrations of the vehicle with these sonic explosions going off right next to you. Maybe that's the point, to intimidate the other driver? Because it sure as hell has nothing to do with music. It has more to do with a construction project or a runaway train than listening to quality music. It's also pretty funny to see some sheetbox with one of these systems shaking and paint chips flying off and looking like it's going to fall apart any minute.

In fact, what's the point of even installing a car stereo system if all you're going to do is listen to the bass at an ungodly level? Why buy music at all? Why not just record a volcano eruption and put it on a continuous loop. Save a lot of money that way, wouldn't you?

Please don't tell me this is the latest wave in music, as this has nothing to do with music whatsoever. It has more to do with the mantle of the earth blowing a gigantic fart right through it's crust than music. What are these idiots going to do once they realize they can't hear a damn thing anymore. Sure, they will always be able to feel vibrations so it's not a total loss.

The only people getting rich off this foolish trend are the stereo manufacturers and the soon-to-be-seen audiologist. Because as sure as sound barriers are broken, so aren't the eardrums of these woofer-heads. And when they find out how expensive it's going to be to see the doctor for hearing aids, they're going to wish for the days of the transistor radio....

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