by Tami Beck

Created on: June 15, 2009

They say "hindsight's 20/20", but the question remains, is hindsight good or bad? For some people, hindsight can be quite beneficial. By looking back at the experience, and acknowledging their role in what went right or wrong, hindsight enables them to ensure a positive outcome of a life experience, or at least prevent some of the negativity ramifications of that experience. For instance, in a broken relationship, some might look at the events preceding the break-up. They might see things they have done, such as taking too much for granted, or not seeing the "signs" of toxic behavior in their partner. In hindsight, they acknowledge where they should have been more observant, or should have opened communication about the problem behaviors before it was too late. In future relationships, they remember what they have learned, and can utitilize that knowledge to ensure an open, honest and fulfilling relationship with their future partner.

Yet, for some people, hindsight can be quite destructive. These people may have a negative self-image, and be unable to use the lessons to be gained from hindsight. By looking back at the experience, they cannot acknowledge their role in what went right or wrong without berating themselves for all of the negativity. For instance, in a broken relationship, they might take full responsibility for the break-up, without acknowledging their partner's accountability. As they look back on all that went wrong, they blame themselves for their partner's toxic behavior. For example, thinking that "if I wasn't such a nag, John wouldn't have gotten drunk so much". Or, "I should have known he was a party guy; I'm so stupid for not knowing that before it was too late". In that case, hindsight only serves to validate their feelings of inadequacy. Until they can come to terms with their negative self-image, hindsight is only one more weapon to use against themselves.

For most of us, hindsight is neither good nor bad. It's just another tool to be used in living day to day. When we look back over our lives, we can see where we could have done so much better. But we can also see where we could have done so much worse. We take what we need from the hindsight we have, and use it to find that spiritual balance that brings us inner peace. Hindsight is 20/20, but that is neither good or bad. It's simply the way that we use it that gives it the power to affect our lives in a positive or negative way.

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