by Christine Sandor

Created on: June 15, 2009

No one should have to experience a life altering event alone. The death of a loved one changes one world, and sometimes our perspective on the world almost immediately. Life assumptions are shattered as we face the reality of the loss. With the passing of one who is close to us, it is often as if little piece of ourselves has left this planet as well. Family and friends can and are supportive for a period of time, but eventually with the calling of their own lives, they drift away, many concluding as their life must go on, so must yours. It is precisely at this time that seeking the assistance of qualified bereavement counselor can be most beneficial.

Though those around us often can't understand why we are not picking up with our life and moving forward, we remain in a process of grief. There is no time limit to how long someone should grieve or when a person needs to get over it. Every persons experience is different. In some cases there is no choice but to get through daily routines, especially if children are involved, but as we move through the Kubler-Ross stages of grief there can be sticking points as well as regression to a previous stage that has been experienced, or moving in between. Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance are the stages outlined by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in the early 70's. Each is unique in it's own right and each person experience of the process is equally unique.

A bereavement counselor is an individual trained in the process of grief and moving through it. The professional provides an outside perspective that is non-judgmental and nurturing. Family and friends can be supportive to a point, but having another who is not attached to the situation can provide for an ability to express feelings that family and friends may not know who to cope with. Often times for instance, the grieving person can be stuck in one of the stages of grief. A qualified professional understands this inability to move forward and can both sit with the profound emotions and provide specific and structured responses for healing.

Seeking the assistance of a certified bereavement counselor in no way suggests that there is something wrong with you. Whether the death of a loved one is sudden or anticipated the finial moment of transition still leaves a deep and empty place for many. It is not something one can get over or even fill, however it is something one can process and eventually find peace with, allowing for the moving forward of one's own life. The process is heavily laden with emotions that in many cases have not ever had to be dealt with previously. These new feelings can be overwhelming and sometimes frightening. A bereavement counselor understands these emotions and can validate them giving you assurance that it is well within the norm in the case of loss.

The death of a loved one is a traumatic experience. Recognizing that there is no need to be alone with the feelings and emotions is the first step. Finding a qualified bereavement counselor will make the process through your grief a little easier.

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