In today's society, we have grown accustomed to parents not staying married throughout our childhood. Many years ago (I guess not that many) parents stayed married if not because they loved each other, or because of the vows 'til death do us part, at least for the children; whoever thought that was a good idea should be shot. Marriage was an institution as much as family picnics, and mom staying at home to raise a family while dad brought home the bacon. These are things that are not gone, but yet seem prehistoric.
Divorce entered the realm of things to do, or it seems it was just a fad, at one time, divorce was as popular as getting married. It is when the kids are part of the big picture is when the decision to go separate ways becomes a burden. Questions then arise: how are we going to tell the kids? The answer is: very carefully. Today it is hard to know what reaction a child will have when they find out that dad and mom will not be together anymore, much less the idea that mom and dad will soon have different partners. Divorce announcement to a child is almost like announcing a death in the family. They may understand what, but have no clue why.
Parents always try to hide things from children, but they already know. Kids today are smarter and more alert to what is going on in the world. Communication is a must, and that is the key to what will come of an announcement such as divorce or any other major event in a family life. We cannot shelter our children from pain because without the hurt there is a void, and children need to develop all emotions during those years. It is probably much more difficult to help a young child understand that daddy and mommy will not be together anymore, especially if they are at that age where they seem to depend on both. For the most part, children today are not in shock about divorce like they may have been in the 80's. That is not to say that it is not stressful and something they may need to deal with. It is no easy task for many children to have to deal with. Especially if the reason for divorce is more than just incompatibility, because being open and honest with your children will go a long way. You do not want them to find out dark and dirty secrets later because that will bring much animosity. Again open communication and honesty play a role in dealing with the children. Although this is text book Psychology, and the scenario that is probably more prevalent are the issues that caused the divorce become issues that will affect the children because communication is not prevalent. Now, in most states they require classes to couples before the divorce will be finalized; they should go one step further and include group family therapy. This is based on the monkey see monkey do theory. Marriage is still a good institution and children need to learn how to manage relationships. I am sure there are some Leave it To Beaver and Father Knows Best families left in the world, but due to the things our children are exposed to today, education is the only way to deal with the issues such as divorce.