by Rachel Palmieri

Created on: June 15, 2009

The Gosselins are in need of a reality TV vacation, out of the States. They have spent way too much time pleasing everyone else. If you're reading this article, you know who Jon & Kate Gosselin are, those people with eight kids and a TLC program. They have become a household name even to those who never watched the show due to the recent explosion of tabloid media on the parent's failing marriage. The real question is why? Is this another example that money corrupts completely? Is the fame and public scrutiny too much pressure? I believe the problem hits closer to home. Listening & communication is the foundation of every marriage. The Gosselins have simply tossed it out the window of their 1.3 million dollar home to wither and die on the manicured lawn.

There are many articles blaming Kate's greedy behavior and Jon's running around for a crumbling marriage. But these are just symptoms of the root martial problem. In the finale show of season four this was clearly demonstrated. She cheerfully chattered on about how wonderful the next season would be, whilst he focused on when he could tear the mock interview room out of his basement. He mentioned that he wasn't positive they wanted to do another season, which she quickly swept under the rug with we all sometimes have problems with the show, it'll pass and continued happily along. I'm not sure she even looked at him when she dismissed his feelings entirely. A solid marriage has respectful and honest communication.

Good communication is respectful. Everyone longs to be understood, especially from their partner. Both Gosslins have failed at this and need to come back to the table on whether of not reality TV is helpful or harmful to their family. If there is a debate on any family issue, in any household, calm rational discussion is needed to come to a joint decision. Steamrolling over your spouses feels is not the answer. I get the impression that Kate has no respect for her husband's wishes to end the program. Kate views Jon as another child to be pushed around. This is a common phenomenon in families of multiples. The mother spends all day controlling an unruly crowd of children and she commonly projects that attitude onto everyone, including where it doesn't belong, onto other adults. Without communication from her husband Kate has no idea her actions are offensive, both are to blame for lack of respectful communication.

Good communication is also honest. Honestly hurts, so many times we avoid it to avoid a fight. I'm positive Jon has been disgruntled about the TV show for some time and simply has not said anything. Unfortunately for the Gosselins, the holes in their communication have manifested themselves in ugly and hurtful ways. I just hope they can get back on track and remember that they love each other before this blows up to a divorce.

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