by Savannah White

Created on: June 15, 2009

It's great when a relationship ends and the former couple remains friends. Unfortunately, that does not happen often. For most people, the break-up is painful and unpleasant. It's over and that's the way it should be, but what if one half of the former couple can't let go? What should you do when that person continues to make contact? How do you keep your ex away after the break-up?

You can try using strong and forceful language. Leave me alone. Stop calling. Go away. These are all acceptable phrases to use on the ex who keeps coming around. Sometimes, however words just aren't enough. If that's the case, consider what type person you're dealing with before you take the next step. If your ex is just a nuisance it should be easy to deal with him or her.

It may be necessary to cut off all contact. That is what the break-up was supposed to accomplish, but sometimes former lovers will call each other, or stop by to say hi. Don't allow this. If he or she calls, tell them to stop and that you will no longer answer their calls. If he or she stops by, tell them to stop, and that you will no longer answer the door when they come over.

Mutual friends can be a problem if they want to see the two of you back together. Tell your friends not to encourage your ex to contact you. Tell your friends to stop telling you what your ex has been doing lately, and to stop passing along messages from the ex. If your friends are not able to do this, perhaps you should consider spending less time with them until your ex is no longer interested in you.

One last thing you can do is change your social behavior. That means you may have to stop going to some of the places you used to go with your ex. If you both love a certain restaurant there is a good chance you will run into each other there, so stay away. Even though your friends will want you to come along, and you will want to join them for a good time, don't go.

Keeping your ex away after the break-up will likely not be as simple as telling him or her to stay away. It will likely also involve you staying away. It may be difficult in the beginning because in addition to the pain of a broken heart, you will have to deal with the pain of missing your friends for awhile. Even so, it is important to keep your distance if you want your ex to keep his.

One final suggestion is for those who have ended a relationship with someone who is abusive, violent or potentially dangerous. Telling this person to stay away and you trying to avoid them will not stop this person from trying to see you. If you are in danger, it may be best to get a restraining order and let authorities know you do not want to be contacted by your ex.

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