by William Cobbs

Created on: June 14, 2009   Last Updated: June 26, 2009

Most of what I have read about the subject of getting your "grown children" to be your "friends" has been larded with the personal problems of the families of the writers of such articles. If your kids don't LIKE you as a parent because of a fault of yours or a fault of theirs, then forget it...life is too short to spend your latter days second-guessing your brats.

I have twenty-four descendants at my age of 84(I'm fudging a month...I'll be eighty-four on July 2, the REAL Independence Day!) I am fortunate in that only one of my 24 offspring, counting sons-in-laws, is on no-speak with me. I have been working on that daughter for ten years, but so far, no luck! The fault was MINE and I shall YES! succeed in bringing her into the fold!

But the success with the other 23(sons, daughters, granddaughters, great grandsons, husbands and wives,) I will give DIRECT credit to Facebook for the existence of the inter-family interplay.

A daughter was on Facebook and having fun, and she asked other daughters and sons to join. Soon the papas and the grandpapaps and me, the one great-grandpa and my wife, the great-grandma, were on! Every day, somebody has something funny or something serious to report. Like ten or twenty items a day!

But best of all, others NOT of the family bloodline but friends and acquaintances have joined our Facebook. My wife and I are retired teachers, the two of us being head master and head mistress of a school. One or two of our past students (also friends of our children) joined the family circle on Facebook...then a trickle of past students(of 25 years ago!) started flowing in, and eventually we will hear from all of our living past students who are cybernetic.

That's what works for us.

And it wasn't us who started it, but my next to the youngest daughter, a newspaper woman in North Carolina!

The usual rules apply. Keep away from any seriously compromising discussions, and follow the rules of Facebook about making "friends" etc.

But the lovely thing is that from this start on Facebook, you are offered the reopening of thousands of really important friendships that you have shelved or forgotten for years.

Think about it!

Who was your best friend in kindergarten? If you HAD a kindergarten! Is she/he alive? Do you remember?

Who was your very first important and friendly of course DATE? Are you old enough to USE the word Date?

Move on with your family...who was your main family member when you were in high school? Are they alive? Do you have family members you loved but have not been in contact with for years? They can be brought not only to Facebook but to your memory and possibly a good reminiscence. COLLEGE, BUSINESS ACQUAINTANCES! Use your mind to accurately scan your past and select those you found positive.(Forget the bad and the ugly..they are probably deceased anyway!)

So, you see the pattern...you can rebuild a complete network of family, and if you wish, re-introduce those family friends of the past who were positive and rewarding...they probably still are around and waiting for your action! Brothers, sisters, children, grandchildren (great grandchildren if you are as old as I!) and their FRIENDS!

Your ploy with a difficult adult child of yours might just well be, "Fauntleroy, its your Dad! I just contacted your old friend of long ago, Beelezebub Jones, on the Internet, and he wants to know what you are doing! So, my dearest kid, come on our Facebook as our 'friend' and talk to dear old Beelzy!"

Enough said! If the kid doesn't like you, maybe he'll join you to talk to Beelzebub and find he has a loving parent in the action!

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