by Sandra Bazen Cobb

Created on: June 14, 2009

BETRAYAL.

Everyone feels betrayed at some point in their life. No matter how genuine or kind you believe yourself to be, you cannot immunize yourself from being hurt, or even from being the one who hurts another.

The only way to minimize the pain of being hurt, is to thoroughly examine what happened and why it happened. This might mean that you have to try to walk a mile in the shoes of the one who hurt you. Perhaps their own life is in such shambles that they are subconsciously trying to make sure that no one else is having an easy go at life either. Remember that old adage, "Misery loves company."

Once you understand what led to the event that caused your pain, it is easier to forgive the person who hurt you. You must forgive them, because the unforgiveness in your heart leaves an open wound, allowing the pain to fester and manifest negativity into all areas of your life. This is the reason you will try to understand the person who hurt you, so you can forgive them, which leads to your own healing and well-being.

Another way to minimize the pain is to examine what you might have done or not done, that could have attracted the pain you are now feeling. Do you have a habit of trusting people who are not trust-worthy? Do feel an illogical need for the acceptance or approval of your loved ones? Obviously, we all as human beings, seek and need the approval of our loved ones. It becomes an illogical need once we mature spiritually and realize that our loved ones might not be the most appreciative of our qualities and successes, especially if they have a lack in those areas. There are also those of us who march to the beat of a different drummer than others in our family, and this can lead to many opportunities to experience pain. Some things are better left unsaid, especially when you KNOW that your statements or actions will cause controversy among those you love. Find someone else of like mind to share your interests with. This can protect you from some of the inevitable judgments your family would otherwise inflict on you when you step outside of their neat little box.

As for experiencing the pain that only a lover can inflict, there is no easy way to alleviate such pain. Time does, indeed, heal the wound, but life must go on until said time arrives. It is important to see who you really are, without the veil of your lover's shadow. Your lover may try to mold you into what he or she has determined that you are, but that does not make it

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