by Tricia Lye

Created on: June 14, 2009

When does a parent broach on the topic of sex ? The road to prepare your teen to learn about the birds and the bees should be a carefully mapped process on one of the most essential but awkward topic . The issue of sex should be discussed before they learn from sources beyond your control. This is also a the time to express your personal beliefs and expectations of your teen.

The understanding of sex is different at different age. A young child who wished to marry her playmate in the sandbox may turn boy-hater in a couple of years ,eventually becoming infatuated with the basketball hero of her school. She will view love , sex and her own sexuality differently with different levels of maturity physically.

The parent or caregiver has to lay the foundation for this task way before puberty or when the child is able to communicate feelings and personal preferences .

So, how does a parent approach the topic on sex ? It is essential to find a common platform and be comfortable with your teen on issues other than sex. You have to forge a dual role as friend and mentor to your teen . Find time to talk about school , friends, activities with your teen. How does your teen girl regard herself on the self esteem scale? Has she ever felt compelled to compromise on any matter in order to gain acceptance? Does she have a group of friends whom she feels are her equals?

Together, find out possible outlets for creativity , mental stimulation and inspiration that rank high in your teen's life and encourage her to pursue them passionately. Encourage a sport or a hobby that re- channels her energy productively and boosts personal confidence.

Test your teen's understanding of sex. What does she understand of the sexual act ? Observe which aspect fascinates her the most and why ? With regards to her friends, refrain from being overly excited when new characters of the opposite sex are introduced in her conversation. This is an indication of trust and invitation to accept her choices. Refrain from making judgment at this stage.

What does she understand about the purpose of physical intimacy and what is her main source of knowledge : friends or the media ? For starters, approach from the scientific point of view. Explore the end results of physical intimacy from the emotional,physical and social aspect. Acknowledge that this is a real need that can be managed and tamed.

Prepare your teen for responsible adulthood by discussing on

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