by Laura Marshall

Created on: June 14, 2009   Last Updated: June 19, 2009

Having a high self esteem is important in day to day functioning. If you lack self esteem you are less likely to achieve your goals and so it is important that we, as adults, do our best to build the self esteem of our children.

Self esteem is the feeling of self worth. It fluctuates daily depending upon events and it is very sensitive with one insult needing a further 21 compliments to make up for that one insult.

There are lots of pressures upon children with league tables and bullying in schools and so helping children to gain a good self esteem is important.

Ways in which to build your child's self esteem include; praise, quality time, reassurance, positive body language, careful discipline and important life lessons.

Praise: Children need praise. Children need praise when they have done as they have been asked and also when they have carried out a task without even being asked to do so. If you child has performed well at school praise them, words such as 'well done', 'i'm so proud' 'you have worked very hard' all help to give your child that feeling of self worth and ability.

Quality time: Put aside quality time to spend with your child. Ensure to do this with each child if you have more than one although time may be less the more children you have but it is quality of time not quantity which counts. Play games, ask your child what he/she has done whilst at school, listen to your child, read stories. If you show your child that you are interested in them and enjoy spending time with them then it will help lead to a higher self esteem.

Reassurance: If your child is unsure of themselves then raise the issue, find out why and reassure them that it is okay. If they are worried that they are not as good as their friends or that they are worried about an event at school give them tips on how to improve and reassure them that they don't always have to be 'the best' and that it is okay and will be alright.

Positive Body Language: Have eye contact with your child. Have a close proximity. Smile a lot. Use the intonation of your voice to show your pride and your happiness whilst you're with your child. 90% of our communication is in body language alone so it is vital that what you are saying verbally reflects what you are saying non-verbally too. Open body language helps your child to feel relaxed around you.

Careful discipline: When disciplining your child be careful about the words you use. Negative wording can cause your child to feel bad about themselves

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