by Joshua Pantalleresco

Created on: June 14, 2009

"Honey, does this dress make me look fat?" How many people really answer this question? Sometimes the honest answer is yes, but it's almost certainly suicide to say that to the person who asks. If you really think about it, more often than not, people aren't always honest with their assessments or answers. And sometimes like in this case, there's wisdom to it. Do you really want to deal with the result of saying yes if it's true? Probably not. .

This example is used for a number of reasons. For one thing, most of us say we want honesty. The problem is honesty isn't popular. Most of the time it's inconvenient or has consequences that people just don't want to deal with. Many of us tell little white lies all the time. In fact, we do it often everyday without realizing it.

How many times is the word "good" used to answer "how are you?" How often is there any degree of truth in that statement? What does "good" really mean? Nothing. It's a safe answer. It doesn't go into any details about what really is going on or what you are doing, yet ask a hundred people and ninety nine of them will with a zombie's precision say "good and yourself?". There's no investment in that answer. It's safe, and means nothing and lets people move on without making any serious connection. It's not a lie exactly, but it's far from honest.

If you think about it, there's lots of little white lies like this we say to others daily. The thing about little white lies is that they are consistant, and convenient. They get you through the day with little fuss, and usually without any real trouble.

If people were truthful in their answer of how are you, it would vary everytime. Some people would be happy, but others would tell you that they feel like crap, and maybe even why. Maybe the person answering would tell the questioner to go to hell. In this case, an honest answer may involve words and actions the questioner doesn't want to deal with.

There is no script to honesty. There is no set pattern, or behavior to it. Honesty is just the unabashed truth. Truth by its very nature is divisive and designed to make people uncomfortable. It also can as a result of its unpredictability burn bridges or create devasting consequences. People often talk about being sincere, but few can truly handle it without hurt feelings or an inability to confront their own inadequacies.

In spite of all this, there are advantages to being honest. You don't have to rehearse or memorize

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