by Donna Marie Gray

Created on: February 03, 2007   Last Updated: April 19, 2007

This is such a complex problem to approach. There are so many factors to consider in deciding when to seek medical help. The biggest fear is that your child will be lumped into that category of ADD or ADHD, when, in reality you simply have an active, inquisitive child that needs more attention and direction than they are getting in order to develop their own unique personality.

My youngest son was one of these "different" children. He was the youngest of three children yet was unlike them in almost every way. By the time he was 5 years old I took him to be evaluated at Children's Hospital in Boston. After a battery of tests they assured me, and I quote...:

"This child is a bright and intelligent child. He is what we consider,
'in unprofessional terms', a rotten little kid and he will outgrow it."

They did have some suggestions as to how to deal with keeping him focused and that being the youngest, perhaps he needed a little more time alone with mom and/or dad. However, I was a stay at home mom and spent all my time with him because my other two were already school. So, I just continued trying not to treat him any differently than the others, and trying to cope with his being very difficult.

Bear in mind that back then, (he is 38 years old now), they were not diagnosing kids with ADD or ADHD. He became more difficult as a teenager (no surprise there), but he was quick to learn and he was ambitious. Although he dropped out of school, he became an electrician. But, unfortunately, he got involved with drugs and alcohol. It wasn't until he was in his early 30's that he was finally diagnosed as being bi-polar. Again, this was something that had not been a suspected illness back when he was a boy growing up. It has taken a lot of counseling and medication to straighten out his condition. But had ADD, ADHD or bi-polar been something that was as well known as it is today, my son would have been able to start treatment years earlier than he did.

Now, we are dealing with a step-grand-daughter who is experiencing all of the above problems, and was diagnosed first with ADD, and more recently as being bi-polar. However, her parents both work and are not dedicating enough time to taking care of the problem. She is now 13 years old and does not have the support of her parents who seem to think there is nothing wrong with her. (She has tried to kill herself three times, and she cannot stay in school, and she has been committed to a hospital on a number of occasions). The prospects for this child do not appear to be promising. My fear is that she will eventually get into serious trouble. She has no respect for authority. At present she is suspended from school (and it's an alternative school). She has attacked classmates and has to go to court over that.

I believe that she needs to be placed in some sort of facility where she will get the concentrated care and treatment she is not getting at home. Whether it be a hospital environment or juvenile facility, the child needs to be continuing her education while at the same time having her medication monitored.

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