by Nichoel Zimmerman

Created on: June 13, 2009   Last Updated: June 14, 2009

Children look up to the parents and want to admire them. How can that be easy for a child if they are hearing all the bad things about the other parent? Say that Dad vents about Mom, it makes both sides look awful because Mom is getting bashed on and hearing the annoyed side of Dad at Mom creates discomfort in a kid knowing that there is tension between the two. It's never a great idea to put your own negativity on your children. They are going to learn and grow from that negativity and they also might lose a little parental respect along the way.

Divorced parents, these are probably the the people pouring most of their negativity onto the child. Imagine breaking up with your loved one, it must be hard enough to lose that person and attachment. It's even harder to get over that attachment. Having a kid with that loved one automatically binds you both to one another for the rest of your lives. Bitterness always rises from just that tension. Bitterness brings about the worst in people and can make their words too harsh & even untrue but it makes them feel better for that moment. Seeing your kid will always trigger just a little bit of tension of the other parent and they start telling the kid all the bad things about the other. Your child could forever grow up to be the messenger between the two bickering systems, Mom & Dad. Sharing too much information on private matters of adults, especially if it's something really serious or heavy that your child might not be able to handle about the other parent, will inevitably cause a build up of negative emotions that may or may not decease with growth. But who wants to take that chance for their child's lifestyle?

Married parents, these are the people that tell their kids stuff about the other and then hope to God that they don't repeat it. This causes an usual and very displeasing tension in the house because the more you vent, the more your child knows. The more your child knows, the more they will be curious with the other parent. There will most likely be a lot of fighting in this household, Mom VS Dad, Mom VS Child, and Dad VS Child. Mom and Dad get mad and each other because of what's been said and heard. The child will get in trouble for repeating what they heard. Also, both parents will put pressure on child to know when it's time to keep the mouth shut. It's a difficult concept to learn and apply when dealing with matters of too much information known. Things slip off of the tongue occasionally maybe because of a topic brought up. They will grow to resent because of not growing up without the useless drama of adult married life.

This causes tension between kids and parents because the kids don't want to hear all the horrible things. Some things your kids just do not need to know about you. It ruins their images and impressions you leave on their mind. They will always grow up hearing the venting and they will start to resent you for it, undoubtedly. So, if you want to lose the respect your kids have for the both of you, then go right ahead and vent away. Tell them every detail you have about the other parent because losing your respect and gaining resentment is exactly what's going to happen.

Your children need to grow up living their own happy life, not living through the bitterness of parents.

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