by Kristin Kolehouse

Created on: June 13, 2009

Video games can be fun, entertaining, addicting and can even be used as a way to temporarily escape the stresses of real life. Some see video games as a sign of immaturity, a danger to children or simply an interest or hobby. There is another group of people, generally women, who view video games as competition. Not all women have a problem with their man's game playing, but those unfortunate women that do are referred to by some as "gaming widows." But are they really all that unfortunate?

Of course, if your boyfriend locks himself in the basement and plays World of Warcraft for a week straight, you've got a problem. But, at least in relationships, this type of addiction is not very common. What is much more common is a boyfriend who likes to play Call of Duty online with his friends a few nights a week and a girl who feels insecure about it. Perhaps the reason that video game "addiction" ruins relationships is because women and men have completely opposite ideas of what it actually means to be addicted.

There are obviously exceptions, but it is easier to paint with broad strokes when dealing with common relationship issues. Women, in general, need more attention than their male counterparts. Men usually seem more emotionally detached and (sorry guys) clueless about what their mate wants. Using these admittedly stereotypical but nevertheless historically truthful characteristics, it is easy to see why video game addiction, perceived or actual, has the propensity to ruin relationships.

If a woman comes home from work to find her boyfriend in his underpants screaming through a headset about enemy positions, she may be a bit disgusted, and she will probably make it known. When her boyfriend has finished his match, he'll try to give her a kiss and ask how her day was and be shocked when her reaction is less than affectionate. The reason for this, and the reason for many relationship problems, is that men and women just don't understand each other very well. She wants to be the most important thing in his life and if he doesn't greet her right away, she feels like the video game is more important to him than she is. His logic is markedly different. He lives with her, she isn't going anywhere, five minutes to finish a match isn't a big deal and she knows how much he loves her. She gets most of his attention anyhow.

So, a bit of advice to the ladies out there, before you get worked up about your boyfriend's game playing, take a minute to think about whether or not it is an actual addiction, or if it's just a hobby. It really is no different than collecting baseball cards or fixing up old cars. Maybe even join in. You might like it, and even if you don't, your man will appreciate it. After all, you make him watch chick flicks with you, right?

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