by Sue Langeder

Created on: June 13, 2009   Last Updated: June 16, 2009

Children consume most of your time when you're a family. So how do you make time for your marriage, let alone keep it happy? There are many ways to enjoy your children and your partner for the different joys that they bring into your life. But the best way to keep your marriage happy, is to have a happy family environment.

Yes, you may be scoffing at the idea of a happy family environment when you're tending to the household chores 14 hours a day, tackling crying babies, getting abuse from your next door neighbor to tone down the noise and a dog ripping at your couch. But why not sit down and laugh about it all? Laughter can let off the steam that you so dearly need to let go and it can also make you see that life can be turned on it's end and you can start looking at the positive things around you.

Try and keep the sparkle in your eye. You fell in love with your partner for a reason, so this is the best time to keep it alive. Walk into the kitchen and pinch his behind as he's making breakfast, put on one of his business shirts (with no skirt or trousers) when he's about to come home and prance around showing a little cleavage (best to do this when you have a baby), if you child starts throwing food around and your husband doesn't like it, start throwing a little his way to make him ease up. It's all about having a little of 'cheek' in your marriage and letting go of the hardship that can hamper the family bond.

Go out for a 'date.' Do it during work hours when the children are at school or pre-school. Meet your husband at work and find a romantic place to have a nice meal or reminiscence of places you went to before you had kids. Taking a couple of hours out of your day once a month will never hurt your busy schedule, but it could always save your marriage. If you plan it in your diary each month, it gives you something to look forward to.

Do as much as you can together as a family, but at the same time, give each other space to explore your own needs. If you have a pilates class you want to go to on a Tuesday night, he might want Monday night to be with the boys to watch Monday Night Football. Keep the balance equal and harmony will be maintained.

Keep the parenting and household chores equal. If one of you is working, and the other isn't, well of course, the one who isn't will be more likely to be doing the main household chores like vacuuming, cleaning the bathrooms, washing the floors, etc. But use time like washing the dishes as a joint activity where you can communicate with each other about the day's activities or your thoughts. Keeping the communication lines open is vital for a happy marriage, so make the time.

Keep your bedroom life alive. Pretend that you are experimenting teenagers and discover new things about your partner and yourself. As your children get older, you'll have that memory of being caught by your parents come flooding back to you with your children opening the door telling you that they had a scary dream.

It's the small things that make the difference, so enjoy your partner, enjoy your children and always look at the sunny side.

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