Numbing Heart

Everything around me is foggy. I can't make out who I am or where I am. What am I doing here? I must be lost. Nothing is clear to me. Shadows. Glimmering lights. Wind from all directions.

My hair whips in front of my face as if to protect me. It seems too long to be normal. Through my fluid shield I see something, a light that's brighter than all the others. It seems closer, too.

Camy! someone calls out. Is that my name?

Camy! again, he yells it. Who is this?

Camy! After a third time of beaconing for me, he grabs my arm and turns me around to face him.

Camy, are you all right? So Camy is my name. Am I all right? I feellight andunconscious, as if I weren't controlling myself. The man speaking looks a little familiar.

Camy! Please speak to me. Are you hurt? I cannot speak. As I try, I feel something wet rolling downward on my face.

Darling, I'm sorry. His thumb reaches up and brushes something off my cheek. I'm really sorry. I didn't intend for all this to happen. It happened so fast.

Fast? This word has no meaning. The world won't even move enough for something to be slow.

Cami, Sweetheart, my insides are aching. I feel awful. Seeing you hurt like thisI really wish I could take it all back. I'd change the world for you, if I could. I am so so sorry.

I look up from the blurred grass to his face. He lookssad? Is that a word? I know it was, once. But as I say it in my mind, it seems so meaninglessintangible. Is there such a thing as emotion in this new place I'm in?

Cami?

Whoareyou? did I just speak? I hadn't thought it was aloud.

What do you mean? I'm your husband, Charles. Oh, my husband. How could I not have known?

Yeah, but who are you, really? My words startle me. I sound so lifeless. What's wrong with me? What happened to my old self? This isn't normal, or maybe it is. I can't remember what has happened or what Charles is apologizing for. I'm trying to rack my brain for an answer, but to no avail.

Cami, I really didn't mean to. She was just my co-worker. It was all for business. I never intended for

For what, Charles? The anger in my voice made me jump, for you to break our trust. Ilovedyou! Charles. I never ever even looked at another man with the eyes I looked at you with. But nowI can't even look at you.

I didn't know I was so angry at him. It's as if I've put myself in a world away from his, trying to protect myself. Though I speak to him, my heart won't sing to him. I'm locked up like a picture in a locket. I can't get

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