by Savannah White

Created on: June 12, 2009

Is it acceptable to have sex with your ex? There is no right answer to that question. While everyone from family to friends to coworkers will have an opinion to share on the subject, only you should decide with whom to have sex.

A good way to decide, if you are uncertain, is to take a look at the pros and cons of the subject? Let's take a look at the pros first. You already know your ex, so you won't have to waste time getting to know each other. You are already familiar with their likes and dislikes sexually. You already know what to expect after sex, meaning you know if he or she will spend the night, if he or she will call you the next day and other things you already know.

The cons of having sex with the ex include implications and expectations. Does having sex with your ex imply that you will do it more than once? Does it imply the two of you are headed toward reconciliation? Does having sex with your ex mean you will expect something in return? Let's say you decide to re-consummate the physical part of your former relationship. Can you accept it for what it is, or will you expect it to go from physical to something more? There may be other factors to consider, but before you say yes to sex with the ex, ask yourself how it will affect you afterwards.

Sex is a physical act. That is true for everyone. It is also true that for many people, especially women, sex is also emotional and spiritual. Will you be able to have sex with your ex and leave it at that? Will you be able to detach from the emotional side of the physical act? Will you be able to keep those memories of what you once were to each other from making you want more than a physical relationship? There are many questions you need to ask yourself, and answer honestly, before having sex with a former lover. Sometimes sex is just sex, but when it comes to making love with someone you were once emotionally attached to, it can become so much more.

If you can, discuss the implications with each other before falling into bed together. If he just wants a quickie for old time's sake and you think it means he wants to get back together, you are setting the stage for heartbreak. Is sex with the ex acceptable? Yes, but only if you want it and you know what to expect beforehand. You could enjoy yourself for a little while, or you could find yourself hurting and angry that you willing repeated a mistake from your past.

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