by Genenda Milloy

Created on: June 12, 2009

When the June 12 conversion from analog to digital TV came along, I was in dread. I had received my converter box months ago, but found it to be rather ineffective. Despite television claims that the government has demanded all broadcasts to be in digital due to its high quality, I found that I got better reception from trusty old analog TV. However, I was resigned to my fate of listening to the radio, at least until my move to the northern part of the state. This resignation did not, however, decrease my hatred for the digital converter box I was now forced to resort to. Following is my experience in the short time since the switchover to digital, which I believe demonstrates the need to return to analog.

Because I was planning to move in the near future, my sleep cycle was far from where it should have been. As a teacher, I had the summer off, and it seemed that I was most motivated to pack late at night. At midnight, the channel I got without the box turned to static, and I finally had to break down and use the converter box. There was nothing on, so I put in a DVD for background noise as I continued to pack. When it ended, I almost went to bed, but thought I would see what was on the two channels I can depend on now- ABC and PBS. ABC had a news anchor whose bright pink lipstick blinded me. When chaperoning a trip to Europe two years ago, we were shocked to see Italian prostitutes sitting on lawn chairs to await their customers. They wore less make-up than this clown of a newswoman. I changed to PBS.

What I found on PBS was not intended to be humorous, but I was intrigued in a "this is so stupid I can't look away" kind of way. For those of you who have ever seen the movie Best in Show, this was the ferret version, except it was a documentary. I like ferrets because they're playful, but these people took their ferrets very seriously. They received plaques for certain awards. The plaques were... unusual. There was a little 3D carving of a ferret in the lower left-hand corner, but in the top, it had what appeared to be a carved pot leaf. Maybe it's the teacher in me, always looking for signs of drug symbols on student clothing, that thought this. Maybe it was meant to be something else. Maybe there is some strange connection between marijuana and ferrets. If anyone knows the meaning of this connection, please inform me. I am dying of curiosity. Well, maybe I'm not that curious.

I don't know if the documentary was intended for

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