Breaking through the Blocks
A few years ago I experienced a sever case of writer's block. I was under deadline to complete my editor's letter for Evolving Woman magazine. I wasn't consumed by any lack of ideas, but from an outright inability to make or let myself sit down and write. The "mood" was just not there.
I've never considered myself a Great Writer, but I've always been pleased with how easily writing comes to me. If something needs written, I sit down and write. Not that time. I began to worry I would never write again. Still, I thought salvation was at hand because my family and I were about to take our annual trip to Colorado. I was sure that the inspiration, desire and motivation I lacked were all waiting for me in my rejuvenating haven in the mountains. Past visits had always renewed and intensified my creative urge-why would this trip be any different? It was.
I spent a glorious week with my family, scrambling on boulders, exploring the creeks for stones, smelling the brisk air. My mind filled (just as it had at home) with random excuses: It's too crowded here. I need quiet. If it wasn't so cold outside I could sit on the patio-then I would be inspired. A few times, out of dire necessity because of the fast-approaching deadline, I wrote a few drab morsels of prose. But the "mood" never came.
During the drive home from Colorado I was still uninspired. I finished the last of the reading material I brought on the trip. There was nothing left to do. I stared out the window for a few hours with my notebook on my lap. Not only was the mood not there, I didn't want to write. Some huge rebellion left from childhood was raging inside me like fire fed by oxygen.
Then I tried author Hal Zina Bennett's advice of finding that special place in my mind so I could write anywhere. Amazingly, the place I went to was a spot in my own backyard. In my thoughts, I sat on our gazebo with the herb garden in front of me, the cosmos along the edge bending softly in the breeze, with the winding path through the woods to my right. I sat there for a few moments enjoying the view, taking in the sound of the frogs singing in the pond. I saw myself pick up a pad and pen to begin to write.
I opened my eyes in the car again. I felt better, more relaxed, but I still didn't want to write. But this time as I gazed out the window, random thoughts began to race through my mind. Other ideas followed. So many ideas that I felt as if I couldn't stop myself from writing them down. Never had my thoughts been so demanding. So demanding that I was forced to release my stubborn determination to not give myself what I needed.
This was my first case of writer's block. It was worse than any occurrence of resistance I could ever have imagined-but I think I learned the lesson the resistance wished to convey: How I feel, perform, react is not based on where I am or who I am with. It is based on where I am emotionally and who I am inside.
Each of our lives is a work of art. Whether we express our art-selves through music, dance, painting, writing, sculpting, or by taking a walk, reading a book, watering the lawn, we are bringing forth and expressing the creative center of our true selves. One of the basic principles in Julia Cameron's book The Artist's Way says, "When we open ourselves to our creativity, we open ourselves to the creator's creativity within us and our lives."
I think one of the most powerful lessons I learned while facilitating an Artist's Way study group a few years back was that of self-sabotage. We are excited when we start a new project. We plan it, we talk about it, but when it's time to begin, we sometimes get scared. We sabotage our future works of art when we only think about the end result, rather than focusing on each small step. Basically, we become stuck.
In their book, Delivered From Distraction, Drs. Edward M. Hallowell and John J. Ratey wrote, "At its core, being stuck means not having a creative, productive outlet. If you hook up to a creative outlet you can't stay stuck." So is you're feeling stuck or blocked in any aspect of your life, try their advice and find a creative outlet. Whether it's imagining a sacred place in your mind, getting out of your mind by walking or doing other repetitive tasks, or finding a creative pursuit, each of us has the ability to break through the blocks the bind us.