by Wahidabi Sulaiman

Created on: June 12, 2009

Ask yourself this question. Would you listen to anything coming out of the mouth of a hypocrite?

Well exactly that is what you are if you do not have self-discipline as a parent. From the moment of conception, you child is learning. If you read widely or if you check with your Gynaecologist, you would know that a child is able to react to the feelings of a mother from the womb itself. Moreover, researchers have also found that you can even start teaching your child even before the child is born. Hence, you can imagine your power of your influence over your children's development.

Discipline comes in many different forms. It could be in controlling your anger or even keeping promises. You need self discipline for a whole lot of things. A parent, that is you, cannot afford to compromise on the discipline aspect if you are serious about the well being of your child and want the child to grow up into a honest (well close to honest at least), reliable and a good citizen. The decision should have come even before the conception as bringing a child into this world is a great responsibility. Even though, it is never too late to start. Start with your temper.

Your child is behaving badly at a supermarket and is rolling on the floor over a sweet candy at the counter. Well the situation is embarrassing and many parents lose their cool quite fast. They start by threatening, followed by beating and eventually a combination of violence. Well, you are actually reinforcing the behavior of your child. Your child is screaming and so are you. So, what is the difference between the two of you! In fact, you need a good caning than your child does. It is difficult to keep your calm. But always remember, when it comes to your children, winning is never a case. It should not even cross your mind.

Your objective should be instill discipline and to reinforce this discipline till it becomes second nature. In such embarrassing situation, you do not give in but gently and firmly, remove the child from the object of desire and distract. Explain calmly (if age of the child permits) as to why it is so that the object is unattainable at the moment. Remember, you do not have to win any argument. Go with it and the next time the same happens, repeat the procedure. Sooner or later, the substance will sink in and your child will behave.

Never lie to your child. This is one form of discipline that many parents tend not to have. Too often, we expect our children to tell us everything and we ourselves tend to keep a lot of things concerning them a secret. Lie if you are very sure you will never be found out. Otherwise, do not expect your child to never lie to you. Remember, relationship between parents and children needs to work both ways.

Parents often tend to forget the promises made to children. Believe it or not, it is a very emotional thing for a child. You may have genuinely forgotten. Hence, follow the rule; fulfill all your promises and never make any promises. Read the previous sentence again and again. After a few times, you will register what my point is.

I understand that parents have their own set of problems. But children are part of our load and we need to address their issues as effectively as we can, as parents. One way in which we can do so is through self discipline. If you are a person who follow through your words with action, keep promises and uphold dignity, rest assured, your child will have utmost respect for you and will be open to communication with you. Communication is the key to discipline and a whole lot of other things pertaining to your children.

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