by Jim Ruth

Created on: June 12, 2009   Last Updated: June 15, 2009

I don't want to drive away anyone in my first paragraph, but I just have to lay this out there. On a few occasions over the years, one or the other of my daughters has called to apologize that because of work or out of town commitments, or a husband's Father's Day events they wouldn't be able to see me on Father's Day. My response has always been "Honey, when you pay attention to me all year long, do you really think being unable to come by on Father's Day is a big deal? For that matter, if you ignored me all year long do you think coming over for Father's Day would be any big deal?"

The point, of course, is that Father's Day doesn't really stand alone as one day in the year. It is connected to to your relationship with your Dad all year long. In my own case, my Dad lives over 800 miles away and we have only seen each other once in the past two years. We talk on the phone once a week or more, though, and we exchange emails multiple times nearly every day. In other words, we communicate frequently. I know and care what's happening in his life, and he knows it.

So my first suggestion for remembering your Dad on Father's Day would be to examine your relationship with him. If you've allowed yourself to become "too busy" to stay in touch, your best first step would be to take the time to change that. Call him. Call him often. And treat Dad with at least as much respect as you would grant a good friend. Don't slip into looking at that phone call as just one more task to check off on your To Do list.

Not that I propose ignoring Father's Day altogether - I'm just suggesting that it needs to be in proper perspective. Dad will enjoy being remembered on Father's Day, and you'll enjoy remembering him, too. So, when the day rolls around, what do you do? Well, even as busy as we all are, in today's economy many of us (maybe even most of us) still have more time than money to spend. So keep your cash and spend your time. You don't even need to pay for a Father's Day card. With all due respect to Hallmark, I promise you he'll appreciate a personal note more than any card you could buy.

Hang out and cook out. Walk and talk. Remember and laugh. Write Dad a note telling him how much you appreciate something he's done for you, whether it was days ago or decades ago. Think of a chore that you know he doesn't like doing - and do it for him. Most of all, make Father's Day a day when you make or renew the commitment to put "busy-ness" aside and make your relationship with your father a high priority in your life. You'll both benefit from it.

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