by Barbara Webber

Created on: June 12, 2009   Last Updated: June 15, 2009

Wouldn't it be nice if there were a manual handed out to all pregnant women containing the instructions for being a great parent? The truth is, parenting is different for everyone, and every family has their own unique needs, so one manual for all parents just won't do. But there is no reason to despair, we can all be good parents, and for those of us who have been parents for a long time, we can always improve. There are many things we can do to become better parents.

It starts with you. If you can become a better you, you will in turn be a better parent. We all have faults, and working on becoming a better person means we need to face those faults and take concrete steps to improve them. Children take note of everything we do as parents, we can't be perfect, but we can fine tune ourselves, so that our kids get the best of us!

Do you complain often? This one is a biggy for me. I have found that in some situations my only form of communication is to complain. "Gosh, I am tired," "What a lousy day," "Ugh, my morning has already been so stressful." I don't think I even realized that these were complaints until I took a step back to look at myself more critically. But simply saying you will no longer complain, will not work; you must create goals like: 'every time I notice that I am complaining, I will change the statement to something positive. I will try to do this at least once a day.' This is exactly how I have started to overcome my complaining problem. This is helping me become a happier person, and happiness translates to your children as love and understanding. They will be happier kids if they have happier parents.

Do you truly listen? I found that personally when I am talking to others, I often am thinking ahead to my next comment rather than truly listening. So once again, I created a goal to help me overcome this. With my child my goal is that I will repeat back to him what he has said to me whenever he is trying to tell me something he deems important. This helps me to truly listen, and it also lets him know that I definitely heard and understood him. This one "trick" has made a huge difference to me. I don't necessarily repeat back everything when I talk to adults, but I try to do that in my head so that I don't sound ridiculous. But I have become a better listener, and it's starting to become a habit I no longer have to even think about.

Are you quick to lose patience? It is so easy to be short with your kids when you are

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