by Taina Patmore

Created on: June 12, 2009

No strings sex between friends. One hot night, or several spontaneous sessions. No emotions. No expectations. Everything goes back to normal when the morning sun shows its face. BEWARE! This is an urban legend that has ruined many friendships. This is not to say it can't happen, or that it hasn't happened before. Like every urban myth, a friend of a friend's friend, or someone you once met a long time ago, or, even worse, someone you actually know, has been lucky enough to stumble upon the utopia of friendships. Suddenly you're in a situation with your best friend. You've had too much to drink, or you're going through a bad break up, or she is, and you start to think hey, has Bobby always been this hot? Bobby is suddenly looking at you with his bedroom eyes, and you think why not?"

Before you make that sprint for the sheets you need to think about how sex will affect your friendship. No matter how much you or your friend try to convince you that it won't- IT WILL.

The Touch Boundary

You know the difference between that buddy you have a great time with, and hang with all the time, but you don't really recall ever exchanging more than a hug, and that person who knows just when to fold you into their arms, or hold your hand? That last person is the one who you consider a closer friend, right? That's because you've broken the touch boundary with them. There is something special about allowing someone within your physical space that creates a certain level of intimacy.

Think about it. When we flirt we try to reach out and touch the person at some point, right? Whether you realize it or not, you are trying to assert yourself as a possible lover. You are differentiating your intentions from just a friend to potential suitor. If the other party allows your touch, you know that you can move forward in your pursuit. These are just some of the sublties of flirting, which might seem inconsequential but are steeped within our subconscious as methods of categorizing the levels of intimacy we create within our lives.

We allow certain people to cross the touch boundary on different levels. There is a level of familial bond that makes it okay for your parents to hold you in the way that is comforting and refreshing. There is a level of friendship that allows people you are close with to hug you, and sometimes even cuddle you. Then there is a level of intimacy that allows your lovers to touch you anywhere at almost any time. Perhaps we are not aware of these levels consciously,

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