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The Empty Nest Syndrome is hard to ignore because it is a stark reminder of our morality. In nature once the parents have offspring old enough to go off and survive on their own and have their own offspring, all that's left is to die. Your purpose as parents has been fulfilled. Many forms of animal life from moths to pigs to humans, follow this same path. For parents looking at a house that was once filled with noise and laughter, then realizing it will be quiet except for the occasional visit from their grandchildren and parents, it is depressing.

Couples without children aren't subject to this because their experience is different and thoughts of mortality doesn't really strike home till their significant other passes away due to old age. At that point, the survivor begins to feel the loneliness and depression of waiting for death to come and claim them as well.

So, what is one to do? I don't know about other parents but as far as I'm concerned, my wife and I will increase our activities as the kids move out. We will do things that we always wanted to do but couldn't because there were kids to take care of and feed and drive to soccer practice. Fly to a foreign country on a whim, get a license to fly helicopters, write a novel that ends up on the New York Times #1 List of Best Sellers,etc. Even if one of us should die unexpectedly, it is very likely the survivor will continue on to enjoy life and do great things.

There are those that will accuse me of being callous or unrealistic but those are the same ones who will spend the rest of their life smelling old baby clothes or finding themselves unable to toss out old toys or books because they help to relive the days long since past when kids lived at home. While they're doing that, they are missing a chance to help their kids one more time and show them it is possible to triumph over the Empty Nest Syndrome.

For those who aren't as adventureous or have the finances to fly around the world on a moment's notice, start doing volunteer work rather than just sit on your butt and read the newspaper. Churches, Big Brothers/Big Sisters, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, etc would be more than happy to welcome folks to help them out. Personally I plan to do more volunteer work in animal shelters because everyone thinks of people but forgets animals need affection and care as well. (Plus they are always grateful.)

If none of this works, as a final attempt to end Empty Nest Syndrome, one may want to become an foster parent or adopt kids. This is probably not the best idea because as we get older, the odds of a sudden death increases dramatically. Is it really fair to adopt a 10 year old child then drop dead of a heart attack the following year? What happens to the child after one of the foster parents die? Again, this becomes a realy sticky wicket to deal with. But if one is able to make allowances for this, I'd say go for it.

Are any of this proposals guaranteed to cure the Empty Nest Syndrome? Maybe, maybe not. It is really up to each couple to figure out what works best for them. I do know that sitting around and moping about the situation will do nobody any good. So as your kids leave, I wouldn't turn cartwheels down the hallway but would encourage you to view it as entering the fun stage of your life. Good luck!

Learn more about this author, R Shimoda.
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