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How to have a happy marriage when you're busy parenting

by R.L Hanlon

Created on: June 12, 2009   Last Updated: June 14, 2009

Whether you have a new baby or a teenager, your attention and time has most often been consumed with their needs. Many things take second place to the needs and demands of children, but the one thing that often gets shoved to the side is the relationship that was the foundation of your decision to become a parent, your marriage.

Raising children is filled with many opportunities to further strengthen your relationship and marriage, but unfortunately parenting can also drive two people apart. Life changes drastically when children are born. Money situations can change, time together changes, opinions on parenting styles may differ and a host of other reasons can test the boundaries of any relationship.

There are a few things you can do that will ensure your relationship through the parenting stages is happy, remains strong and thrives.

COMMUNICATION

Communication while parenting is essential for all couples. You both need to sit down and discuss each other's expectations, of your marriage and your children. If there are issues that are occurring, which can range from money to even something minor such as a habit, then each of you need to address this and discuss it.

If communication fails, then resentment and discourse can happen easily. There is a lot of support and information available to couples to ensure that communication lines remain open. Exhaustion, stress and other factors put a lot of pressure on relationships. Learn how to talk about each other's feelings, learn to recognize when the other is feeling upset or angry, and learn how to argue fairly.

REMEMBER TO TAKE TIME TOGETHER

Before children came along, there was only ever the two of you. Parenting is a very busy and rushed job at times, especially if there is more than one child. There are places to go and people to see and when they get older, parties to attend and sporting events to be at. Amongst this rush of parenting, working and organizing something simple such as meals, a couple may rarely see each other.

It's important that you both organize a time, whether it's an evening once a month or a weekend every three, that you spend together without any children. Have a relative or sitter take care of the kids while you have a night out together. Attend a concert, play or see a film, or organize an evening at a restaurant. This time together is essential for all couples.

REMEMBER WHAT ATTRACTED YOU TO EACH OTHER

What made you and your partner fall in

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