by L. Easton

Created on: June 11, 2009

Many times I wake up thinking to myself; Is this for real? Have I really grown up? Have I been married for nearly seven years? Do I really have four children. Or has this all been a cruel dream, leaving me wanting more from life?

I stumble into the kitchen to brew a pot of coffee. All the while in a surreal state of mind, the maternal feeling of a child growing in my womb, the pain of giving birth, not once nor twice, not even three times... Four remarkable times... Four remarkable babies.

Looking into each of their precious eyes for the first time. Cuddling their tiny bodies so close to mine, creating a warm, loving, unbreakable bond. Sustaining their lives with each feeding. Feelings, in which no words could ever explain. Feelings just as strong as if, each time was the first time.

Witnessing their first real smiles, wishing their pain away from their first teeth. Bewildered with the mumblings of their first words. Anxiously waiting to catch them, from their clumsy first steps, and watching those first steps turn into thundering little feet... Never willing to stop.

Sitting all curled together reading bedtime stories, scurrying away the monsters, off from under their beds. Just to turn into a monster myself, tickling them until their faces turned red. Tiring them out, before reciting their nightly prayers.

The aroma of the coffee starting to enrich the air, bringing my focus to the time-line decorating the walls of my home. I look in awe at the images, still wondering if my mind is playing some sort of trick on me.

2002 marking the beginning of my new life, with the commitment to my husband. A picture of our new family, hours after our first daughters birth, in 2003. Big sister holding little sister for a Christmas greeting card, marks the end of 2004. 2006 our first son was born. On to the first day of kindergarten for our eldest child, and the birth of our second son in 2008.

The steam from my coffee hit me in the face, as I sipped from the cup, when all of a sudden a shriek broke the silence. "Mommy, Lita won't stop bothering me!" "It's not me mommy, it's Kc, she's being rude to me!" I walk down the hallway whispering "Quiet down please, before..." "Mommy, I want out, out mommy please!" Too late, they woke him up. "Hold on Ice, let mommy take care of your sisters." Before I made it to the end of the hall I could hear "Eh-eh, waahhh-ma ma ma ma, eh-eh, waahhh".

This is when I realized that no, this was not a cruel dream. This is real, the feelings, memories and photos, all so very real. It is everything I ever wanted, and more. As I an a proud mother, of four.

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