by Kat Oliver

Created on: June 11, 2009

Single fathers are no different from married fathers other than the fact that most of them do not live with their children and miss out on most of the moments that mothers deem to be some of the most important events in their children's lives. And often, not always, but often children are led to believe that their fathers don't love them enough because they aren't there.

Very, very few single fathers would choose to not be present for even the little events in their children's lives like seeing the disbelief on the child's face when he sees a plant has emerged from a seed he planted days before. Unfortunately, divorce or even a mother and father's failure to marry make it difficult if not impossible sometimes. And because the father who is no longer a husband isn't around, it's easy for a child's mother to transfer unspoken negative thoughts to the child about the 'missing' father. Sometimes a simple statement never intended to be negative can be perceived as such by a child. That's just human nature. Don't get me wrong, mothers are NOT demons teaching their children bad things about their fathers. Society just teaches us to assume that because daddy isn't there, he doesn't care.

Society in general is a troublemaker. Without much thought for consequence, it spreads a virus of misunderstanding throughout mankind about matters such as this.

So, having stated this not so obvious or acknowledged fact, let's look at gifts for single dads.

Father's Day rolls around just once a year and the media tells us to go out and spend lots and lots of money on our dads to show them how much we love them. Here again we are shown that our love is measured by how much money we spend whether we have it or not.

So, let's move away from the monetary gifts and look at Father's Day in a different light.

For young children who don't truly understand what Father's Day is all about, the child's mother might take a moment to think about all the things she has been blessed enough to witness with her child and realize how much the father has missed. Perhaps she could put together an inexpensive little 'brag book' photo album filled with snapshots of some of those moments and let the child present it to his father. Think how proud the child would be of that little book filled with pictures 'just for daddy'.

For the children who do understand what it's all about and still live with their mothers, instead of buying shirts or ties or the usual fair with money from mom or their allowance, one of the best gifts ever would be a framed picture of the child involved in some activity that means a lot to the child. It would mean so much more to the father.

And for those of us who are grown and lucky enough to still have our fathers in life, the best possible gift is to spend time with your father doing something he likes to do. And if at all possible, take pictures to share with him. If you live too far away, write him a letter and let him know how much you miss him and include memories of things you used to do together and mail it in time to arrive by Father's Day. Then make sure you call him for a long, laughter-filled talk.

Father's Day isn't about how much money you spend. Father's Day is about love and honoring your father, thanking him for being your father and for the love he gives to you. It's about showing him that you love him just the way he is.

Learn more about this author, Kat Oliver.
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