by Matt Bird

Created on: June 11, 2009

I imagine most people responding to this title will list a number of things you can do to FIX your Internet connection. And by all means, give that a shot, if you're so inclined - checking the cable, calling your ISP and running a system diagnostic are all prudent measures, especially if you need the Internet to work.

Me, though? I'm going to head down a less beaten track. When my Internet goes down, almost regardless of what I'm doing, I just shrug and turn the computer off. Generally it's just a glitch in the system and needs nothing more than time to work itself out. I'm no computer expert, nor am I an Internet addict, and so I leave it to the experts to fix while I find something else to do.

Here, then, is a list of things you can do while your Internet is incommunicado. Some of them might look shockingly familiar, since - gasp! - you actually did some of them before the Internet came along!

- Restart your computer. Sometimes that's all it takes to get the Internet working again. Lacking that, though...

- Play a computer game. Why not, eh? It leaves your computer on and gives you something to do while you wait for the 'net to revive itself. Just minimize the game every now and then and refresh your browser to see if it's working yet. Video games work well for this purpose, too, though they'll probably take you away from the computer to your television.

- Exercise. All that time spent online is time where your muscles are slowly but surely atrophying. Give them a nice workout for once.

- Make yourself something to eat. You're probably starved from the aggravation of losing your favored pastime. Go eat something that requires more effort than the usual instant meal or hastily-assembled sandwich.

- Go outside. Oh em gee! Internet addicts probably don't even remember what the sky looks like and will be as pale as vampires, but stepping outside - especially in this fantastic weather - is an excellent way to pass the time. Go for a walk, take up a sport, just make sure you can see clouds and the sun while you do it.

- Socialize. Hopefully you still have friends outside your computer monitor. If nothing else you can call them up and ask them if their Internet connection is working.

- Draw, write, play an instrument, whatever. Take up one of those old hobbies you've been neglecting.

- Or, lacking anything else to do, sleep. Time repairs most connections, like I already said, so just hop under the covers and get some shut eye. When next they open you'll probably be up and running again.

I look at an Internet failure as a blessing in disguise. It gives me a chance to hop off this accursed machine and stretch my legs for a while. Look at it the same way and you'll start to wish your connection failed more often.

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