by Terry Donelson

Created on: June 11, 2009   Last Updated: July 06, 2009

Given the exclusive involvement of two (or possibly more) responsible, consenting adults, why should the decision to have sex concern anyone other than those directly involved? Married vs. non-married sex is an issue only as the result of religious dogma.

If having sexual intercourse outside the institution of marriage is against your religious (or any other) beliefs, then don't do it. I promise that I will not judge you for your decision. Should I decide to act otherwise, however, please grant me the same courtesy. I will also appreciate you not feeling obligated to invoke God's wrath and/or condemnation upon me.

For the most part, finding consenting adults willing to engage in sexual activity, be it married or otherwise, is not difficult. The far more challenging part of the equation is finding those who are responsible; the ones who practice safe sex, use birth control, and are upfront and honest with their partner(s).

Having had the good fortune to experience my prime whore-dog years in the 70's and early 80's, I can only say that I am extremely grateful. While, in the late 1970's, AIDS was just beginning to rear its ugly head, most people had yet to hear of it, let alone know anything about it. The general consensus of the day was that the worst thing one might have to contend with could be cured with an embarrassing trip to the doctor and a penicillin injection.

If memory serves me, one night stands can be very exciting as well as one hell of a lot of fun. They can also, however, be less than memorable; and can result in one or more persons getting hurt. In 2009, given a lack of honest communication with one's partner and extreme diligence to the practice of safe and responsible sex, they can even prove to be fatal.

But hey, I can still remember what it's like to be young and horny. Kids in their teens and twenties believe they're invincible. Nothing like that is going to happen to me. That only happens to other people.

Yes, I am extremely grateful; grateful that I had the opportunity to play in a much less treacherous world. People live over embarrassment. They frequently don't live over AIDS. I'm also grateful that I am now happily middle-aged, married, and proudly able to say that I no longer play the game; and while a person should never say never, have no expectation of ever playing the game again.

As stated earlier, whether consenting adults should have sex before they are married is, in my opinion, a question to be answered only by the persons involved. I fail to see religion's interest in what consenting adults, married or unmarried, do in the privacy of their bedrooms.

A more valid question, and of much more significance, in this day and age might be should people engage in committed, monogamous sex or casual, promiscuous sex? This question would also likely take religion out of the equation as all involved would be considered sinners.

If presented with this question, I can and will undoubtedly make a case for the former. But will I offer to tell those who opt for casual and promiscuous sex that they are wrong and/or that they're sinners? I'll tell them I think they're bat crazy, but I make great effort to avoid being a hypocrite...

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