by Sue Patten

Created on: June 11, 2009   Last Updated: June 13, 2009

Many people will say the most important thing within a relationship is trust. I accept it is important but would say that respect is equally important.

In a relationship where one of the couple has 'cheated', they have showed a total disrespect for their partner. If they don't respect their partner within the most intimate part of their relationship then they are never going to respect them in any other way.

Why on earth would anybody opt to stay with someone who does not respect them?

It doesn't matter how much work is put in to the relationship to rebuild it, the guilty party will always remember the times they 'got away with it' and, if the opportunity presents itself again, will do the same all over again.

The guilty party carried out their infidelity totally aware that if the innocent party was to find out, they would be hurt. They showed a selfish, self centred attitude to their partner. As I said before, why would the innocent person stay with the guilty party?

Some people would say because of love. What is there to love? I have friends, male and female, I adore who make me laugh and are a shoulder when I'm sad. The man I love is the man I can trust with my innermost thoughts and feelings. Who respects me enough to trust me with all his innermost thoughts and feelings. He respects my intelligence. He respects my opinions. That is the sort of person to trust, respect and love.

My partner was married to a woman for many years who cheated on him, albeit online and not face to face. He discovered when she 'accidently on purpose' left her emails open on one she had sent questioning the other persons commitment to her moving in with him (taking her daughters with them). My partner was due to move out but his ex begged him to stay, promising she would never do it again.

He stayed with her but said that while he could cope with the lack of trust, what hurt was the fact she had so little regard for him to do something like that.

In time she did exactly the same again - as do most unfaithful people - and the relationship finished.

The statistics show that an unfaithful person will re-commit their offence within the same relationship and most will be unfaithful in subsequent relationships.

Life is too short to waste on people like this. If your partner is unfaithful, move on. They are the losers, you deserve better. There are plenty of trustworthy, lovable people about. Just make sure you set your standards high enough for what you deserve.

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