2 of 33

Write now Article Tools

The impending new year lends itself to reflecting on the past and pondering the future and I'm delighted at the excitement I feel for the future. Deciding to ring in the New Year quietly, it was spent at home and at the stroke of midnight, my boyfriend and I were in the hot tub. Submerging myself in the delicious warmth, it yet again confirmed my guilty pleasure of owning one. Looking about, it reaffirmed the majestic splendour of winter while I gazed at the snow-capped trees, soaking in the heat amongst the chilly temperatures. The stillness of the air, interrupted only by the occasional train whistle eases the soul and it can make even the most jaded love winter.

I was happy to hear that my fourteen-year-old decided to ring in the New Year with his friends at home. Apparently our house is high enough on the cool factor to warrant inviting them over. With seven kids in the house, the atmosphere was of relaxed fun and quieter than you'd imagine. I chuckled, remembering my younger years while I watched the two teenage girls walk in without their winter coats on because it doesn't go with my outfit.

My oldest son's Jan 1st birthday reminded me of what I was doing during my seventeenth year and, with a sigh of relief, it has reaffirmed to me what a great kid he is.

The New Year brings us closer to our upcoming trip to Mexico and it has my toes tapping with impatience. I'm bursting with excitement for my kids; I can't wait to watch my little boys eyes light up as we step into the airplane for their first plane ride, the delight of the all-inclusive, never-ending food sources for my teenagers and the sensation of the salt water ocean, the heat and the palm trees. This is the first holiday that my boyfriend has accompanied us on, and considering that he has no children, he began to wonder why I repeatedly warned him that this will be unlike any vacation you've ever been on. When it's all said and done, there will be, without a doubt, plenty of adventures that will provide me with loads of writing material.

Looking back, I have realized that life has rarely gone in the direction I've expected and acceptance of that has been a journey in itself. I've learned that releasing my instinct for absolute control was unexpectedly liberating, and walking through my problems is only optional if I don't want to grow. Though I'd never believe it at the time, I now see that it has been worth every excruciating step of it. The trials and tribulations I've endured have, and continue to, shape me into the woman, mother and companion that I am. I am content that I am forty-something and well past the hormonal teenage years, the twenty's of navigating through adulthood and the thirty's of having children.

The last five years as a single mother have been challenging and yet I feel a renewed optimism for the months ahead. The future looks bright with options, rather than feared for the unknown, and peacefulness is settling upon my family. Daily life with four boys is becoming more of an exciting journey than a hardship and self employment has provided me with more gifts than I ever thought possible. Throughout it all, I have discerned the simple concept that I am in control of my own happiness and consequently, the world is at my feet.

While picking up my son's friend, I visited with his mom, my girlfriend, for a few minutes. As I was walking away, she waved good bye and said Happy New You! I stopped dead in my tracks, turned to her and smiled. You're absolutely right I said.

Learn more about this author, Kathy Clark Smith.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

Add your voice

Know something about Reflections: A new year?
We want to hear your view. Write now!