by Tamara Haddock

Created on: June 11, 2009   Last Updated: June 15, 2011

Marriage is not always easy; it is the hardest things two people can go through together. If a couple is determined to make their marriage work, it will take effort. There will be good days and there will be bad. It will seem like one day is good and the next you are at each others throats. Other times it will take longer instead of days it will be a cycle of good and bad months. The secret to surviving this constant state of flux is to plan for it. Things will not always run smoothly but expecting things to change makes it easier to be prepared for them.

There are things in marriage that make it seem like life is running smoothly and nothing can go wrong. Usually the first time is the honeymoon stage. If a couple expects this stage to never end their marriage will end with it. The honeymoon stage occurs right after the wedding. It usually ends in the first year. The let down from the honeymoon phase is one of the reasons so few marriages last over a year.

It is hard to imagine during those first happy months that there will ever come a day when arguments over little things will destroy the marriage. If you do not expect it to happen, it is harder to be prepared for it. A couple should realize that it won't last forever and use the early bliss to build their communication skills, divide responsibilities and determine how they will handle future disputes. Once the honeymoon is over the strong couple can go with the changes in the relationship knowing that it is not the end of the marriage, instead it is settling into a more mature relationship.

Usually as the marriage matures, there is a period where things start to go good again. Both are working, bills are being paid, and they can each afford to follow their own interests. Quite a few couples choose to spend their hard-earned money on things they would like to have. It is rare for a newly married couple to worry about a savings account.

When things are financially, sound it is hard to imagine there could come a day when struggling to pay the bills will come. Invariably it always does. Everyone has lived paycheck to paycheck. Some have even fallen so far to ask for help from friends and family. A strong couple should prepare for the financial hardships to come while they are living comfortably.

Just because you have a job today does not mean it will be there tomorrow. Many couples are fine while there is not a financial crisis but as soon as money gets tight their stress levels sky rocket straining themselves and their marriage in the process. Putting a little back in a joint savings account may be just the backup plan a couple needs to survive the hard times.

The good news is that if things go completely wrong it will still get better. There will be another job, another car, another house. As long as you remember that downfalls are not the end of the world. They are instead a chance to restart using a new plan.

A strong couple can make it through anything if they just remember that during the bad times they can work toward straightening out the messes. During the good times, they can plan for things to go wrong so it does not through them off so badly when it happens. When communicating is difficult, you have to make yourself keep talking. It is not what happens that determines whether you make it or not, it is how you handle it.

Every marriage has its ups and downs. You will survive them as long as you are willing to work together Always remembering not let the downs get you depressed, or the ups make you complacent because just like the tides tomorrow will bring something completely different for you to have to get through. Never waste all your resources today. Tomorrow may bring more rain.

Learn more about this author, Tamara Haddock.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.