by Melissa Washington

Created on: June 10, 2009

Could I date someone who is ugly? The answer is yes, although "ugly" can be looked at in a couple of different ways. There are people who society don't deem attractive. Shortness, baldness, and fatness among other things are considered ugly in general, but I don't have a problem with these things because each person is different. Are we talking short as in 4'9" or "short" as in 5'6"? Is fat not having 6-pack abs or morbid obesity? In any case, what looks good or bad on one person may look the complete opposite on another person.

I have dated fat guys, short guys, and nerdy guys, before nerdy chic came about. I dated these guys because I liked their personalities. That sounds very clich, but it's true. Again these qualities are not what I consider automatically ugly, but a lot of people in society do.

There is also ugly in the sense of someone I don't personally find attractive. There isn't any one factor that determines what I deem unattractive. It could be facial features that, to me, don't fit together. It could be a goofy hairstyle, an awkward body shape, or it could just be that I think the person resembles a turtle, whatever. Sometimes I see people who I think are just plain ugly and there is nothing I can do about, but under certain circumstances, I can get over looks.

Here's an example. In college, a friend of mine introduced me to a friend of his-let's call him Mike-because we were both artists. Mike was a real cool guy, but to be honest, there was nothing I found attractive about him, I even thought he was kind of ugly. It didn't matter, though, because we were just friends. We hung out here and there then lost touch after college.

About six years after college, I ran into Mike at the mall and we went out to get a drink. As we talked, we realized that we had more in common than we had realized before. Later, we hung out at his house and listened to records (yes, records) in the basement like a couple of fifteen-year-olds. I had the most fun that I'd had in a long time and after hanging out a few more times, I found myself falling for Mike. All of a sudden this guy that I hadn't found attractive before was now adorable!

My girl friend kept warning me to "think about the children" before getting too serious about him. I told her that it didn't matter to me. If we had children that had his features, I wouldn't love them any less.

I eventually broke up with Mike for reasons unrelated to his looks, but dating him made me more open-minded to romantic possibilities. I know that looks alone aren't everything. On the flip side, my most recent ex boyfriend was very good-looking, dark-complected, long dark hair, and a nice build. Whenever coworkers, friends, and family saw pictures of him, they all praised his good looks. He was one of the hottest guys I've dated, but the irony is that he was also one of the lousiest boyfriends. He was selfish, immature, possessive and controlling. His good looks weren't enough to make up for the fact that he was a jerk. So, at the end of the day, I'd rather have an ugly guy that loves me and makes me happy than a good-looking guy who treats me like crap.

Learn more about this author, Melissa Washington.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.