by Victoria Tiegert

Created on: June 10, 2009

The teen years are filled with so many changes and those changes can make living with your teen son or daughter a bit of a challenge at times. It is important that we, as parents, try our very best to understand the transitions that they are going through as they move from childhood to adulthood. Adolescents feel misunderstood enough by society as a whole, without our adding to it. Having raised three teenagers myself, I know how hard to understand they are. It seems that they change not from day to day, but from minute to minute. The following are some tips for understanding your teens.

1)Remember what it was like for you and then multiply the confusion about a hundred times. Not only have you probably forgotten some of the angst that you went through, but there is also so much more pressure and stress for teens today. Aside from drug use that has gotten increasingly more dangerous and widespread, there is also violence within the sacred doors of our educational facilities, rampant sexual behaviors, and extremely competitive "social status" stereotyping.

2)Don't get over-sensitive! This is not time for believing every word that is uttered from your teen's mouth. There will be times that they will say things that are incredibly hurtful to you and chances are, they don't really mean them at all. They might even feel badly about it later. Love them right where they are and no matter what they do or say, don't ever let them think that anything can change that one constant of your love for them.

3)Consider all the hormonal fluctuations they are experiencing. It is like premenstrual syndrome for years on end. This will affect the way that they feel and think. It can change the way that they respond to stress and certain other situations. It changes all the rules between boys and girls now that there is physical attraction. It seems to them that everything is changing all at once and they are just trying to hang on for the ride.

4)Don't forget that they are really still children, although not for much longer. Their brains are still developing and one of the last parts to fully mature is that part of the mind that controls impulse and helps in good decision-making skills. Teens will make mistakes. It is our job, as their parents, to help them make the right ones and put boundaries in place that aren't cloistering, but are there for their safety and security.

5)Remember that although these years may seem long at times, they are really over in the blink of an eye. When you see that bag being packed and the car being loaded to take them off down their own path, you might even long for the day again that they drive you nuts.

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