The validity of marriage has a legal angle and a social angle. What may be a legally acceptable marriage may appear to be a void one in the eyes of the society. For example, a gay marriage may be legally acceptable in some countries/ states, but the society as a whole may not accept this legal validity.

What is considered as a valid marital relationship in a society may get negated at the court of law. For example, a man marrying a willing, minor girl.

There is yet another angle to consider on the validity of marriage. It is the personal equation between the spouses that decides the validity of the relationship. A man and woman, not legally wedded may be living together for many years; may have children born to them; they may remain truly loyal and committed to each other; heart of heart, their relationship could be as good as marriage and they may think a legal or social acceptance is totally immaterial to them.

In other words, they may think they are husband and wife for all practical purposes including the moral angle, but such an "unofficial" marriage is not a marriage neither from the point of law nor from the point of view of the society.

A husband and wife, legally wedded, may be living together or living separately, without a legal divorce. The outside world may take their marriage for granted. But the persons involved may know well that their marriage is no longer a working marriage.

What are such circumstances?

== Infidelity ==

Either the husband or wife may have extra-marital relationship. The spouse knows about it and there is a bitter quarrel on this issue between them. But the partner who went astray does not mend ways and he/ she goes ahead with their new-found relationship, with utter disregard to the sanctity of marriage.

For some reasons best known to them, the spouses may prefer to continue in the family without opting for a legal divorce. The reason could be financial dependency, care and concern for children, respect for the opinions of elders in the family, desire to uphold prestige and respect for the unity of family and so on.

== Total absence of sexual relationship ==

Either the husband may be impotent or the wife may be frigid. While one partner is willing and fit for sexual relationship, the other one may refuse to engage in it. A medical proof of sexual dysfunction can be a very legal for seeking divorce; but the couple may, for reasons best known to them, decide to remain in marital relationship. If there is a mutual love or bondage between them irrespective of the absence of sexual relationship, the relationship is very much a marriage. But if one partner pulls on to live with the other out of threat, fear, coercion, family compulsions or for any such reasons, this marriage is not really a marriage.

== Brutal violence ==

Occasional flare-ups between the spouses which may even involve some amount of physical violence may get forgiven and forgotten over a period of time; but if one of the partner is brutally violent, causes severe physical injury to the other with no regrets what so ever for his/ her behavior, forces one to have sex with him or her under physical threat and thwarts the other from getting separated, it is a failed marriage. The spouses may live together, but the marriage is irreparably damaged.

Thus there are umpteen view points from legal, social, interpersonal and moral angles to decide when a marriage is not really a marriage.

Learn more about this author, C.V.Rajan.
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