by Carolyn Paradis

Created on: June 09, 2009

Life's Little Embarrassing Moments - It was an unplanned and unexpected visit to an eye specialist. I couldn't drive myself into town as a sudden medical condition had affected the vision in my right eye. Hubby was too busy to leave work so I called on my youngest son, who arrived promptly with his girlfriend in her mother's little sports car. We rushed the 10 k to town with all windows and the sunroof open to take advantage of the rare sunny day in BC. I'd gone in my gardening clothes and had my comfy Krocs on my feet, and entered the spacious, elegant, hushed waiting room with wind-blown hair, fingernails showing signs of my recent gardening activity, and looking decidedly out of place amongst the blue haired, neatly dressed elders seated in the plush chairs. I checked and took a seat in a far corner, hiding behind a 1987 National Geographic.

I peered over the top of the magazine to take in my surroundings - tasteful paintings in gilded frames on oh-so-trendy adobe colored walls, large potted plants (real), subdued lighting from unknown sources, a hint of soft background music, and a half acre of highly polished dark wood floors. A high wrap-around counter separated the staff from the patients.

I fished in my large bag for my water bottle and took a big gulp, then returned the bottle to my bag. A moment later I felt water in my lap, running down my legs, and filling my shoes. In horror I grabbed the water bottle and discovered the cap had come off. There was a large puddle of water between my feet. I glanced around, but nobody had noticed. Frantically I searched my capacious bag, but found only one balled up tissue. As I leaned over to try to sop up the puddle, the nurse's sweet voice called my name.

I stood, took a step, and my foot slid inside the wet interior of my Kroc. I had to grab a chair to get my balance. By this time all eyes were on me as I walked unsteadily in my slippery shoes across that vast expanse of polished hardwood -SQUELCH.......SQUELCH......SQUELCH....finally I reached the sanctuary of the darkened examination room. I glanced back to see a long trail of gleaming wet footprints leading back to the incriminating puddle on the floor in front of my chair. Looking back today, I should have gone back to the doorway, held up the water bottle and explained. But no, coward that I am, I cringed in the examination room as giggles erupted outside, and one by one, clerks, receptionists and nurses came out of the reception area on fake errands, to peer in at me with expressions barely concealing hysterical laughter.

Was my humiliation over? Oh no. After the doctor had finished the examination and dismissed me with a prescription and a load of good advice, I had to ask for a paper towel to dry my shoes. It was when I stood to leave my final indignity was revealed....a large, damp impression of my bum on the plush velvet seat of the examination chair.

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