by Barbara FeliceHowarth

Created on: June 09, 2009

Relationships are tough, especially these days with the pressure of the media. The media portrays relationships that are in reality the opposite of what they should be. Like me, a lot of us thought if you had the house, nice car, kids, good jobs and everything your heart desired materialistically then you were on your way to the perfect relationship. This could not be farther from the truth. My dad once told me that more money just meant bigger problems and I never understood that until I got older.

A perfect relationship (perfect for you), has nothing to do with money, kids or where you live. Until I got that through my thick head at age 35, every relationship I had was a mess. I kept going after certain qualities in men that were not good for me, overlooking everything else that in turn ended up being the most important qualities for a great relationship. My husband and I are not perfect, no one is, but we have a relationship that works for the both of us.

The key is that there are no keys. There is no one thing that makes a relationship perfect. Everyone has a different lock on their door which require their own set of keys, keys that are custom made to fit your relationship. I can't promise that my keys will fit your door but if you read what I have to say, maybe some of the grooves in those keys will match.

Honesty and trust are the number one reasons why my relationship is good. You can't constantly question your spouse. You need to believe what they tell you as long as it makes sense. If you don't have a good reason not to then they will avoid you and keep other things from you. Give your spouse some space. Make sure they have time of their own to do with what they want. Let your husband have a night out with the guys or your wife have her night out with the girls. Don't be jealous. You may think it's flattering at first but it gets old quickly. I was always taught that if someone doesn't trust you or they are jealous it's because they are doing something wrong making them think you are too. Nobody likes to be questioned like a little kid every time they come home. It will eventually alienate your spouse.

Communication is another very important key. You can't read your spouse's mind. If something is bothering you don't let it fester to the point that it gets you agitated. Most men hate talking but it's so very important. Make a special time or place to have your discussions. It doesn't have to be in a serious situation. You can communicate

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