by Emily Tebbutt

Created on: June 09, 2009

Sexually abused? In today's society, it is more common than ever for young people to be physically, mentally or sexually abused; in fact, 1 in 3 girls are sexually abused by the time they reach the age of 18.

I was sexually abused by my father all my life. And at the time of the abuse, I thought I was the only one. I have been told my councillors that most abused boys/girls do think that, or it is just a normal thing people do to you.

Most people who will be reading this will have either experienced abuse or know of some one being abused.

I spoke out loud. I used my voice. And locked my father away for 6 years. I was free. I never had a childhood and will never get it back, but now I can be who I wish to be. I can achieve things in life. I am allowed to be a 17 year old.

I am even allowed to have boyfriends! And if I fail in things, or make a mistake there will be no punishment from my cruel father; I can now learn from my own mistakes. My world is much brighter, a lot happier and I have friends. Friends who don't judge me on my past, don't pressure me into doing things and love me for me.

In the past year I have become so much more than I ever thought I would be. After speaking out, I believed all I would do was hide in my world and self-harm. I never thought anyone would understand me.

Even though my innocence was taken, I wont let it beat me. I am now stronger than ever. I was my daddy's 'dirty' little girl. I remember all those days I cried and prayed to God to help me. My heart still hurts from the pain. But the best cure is to talk. To anyone, your friends, family members, counsellors or even write your feelings down. Time is a great healer. I promise you that.

You don't have to always be brave, you can cry, feel sorry for yourself. There will be times where you feel useless, not strong and you want to end your life occasionally. Things will be hard. No one said it was going to be easy. But hold on, just that little bit longer, and look how far you have come.

The world is your oyster. You are beautiful in your own way; which makes you, you.
You are loved, even by me. Because you are reading this has taken you a step closer to helping yourself. You want to get better and live happily.

Only a year has gone by since I spoke up, and I feel I have come a long way, of course I have had my bad days, but then there has been good days too. I am still depressed and on tablets to help me. I can still have anxiety attacks but I am getting there slowly. I have found my soul mate, my boyfriend Robert, who I love dearly and he loves me. A year ago I found it very hard to believe anyone would want me; let alone love me.

My whole horrific past has made me a better person. I am more positive and want to help others. Hopefully, my book that I am writing on my abuse will be a comfort to others. Finding what makes me happy has helped too. Spending time with friends or family. Having a bit of 'me' time where I will either paint or write.

Just because I have been abused, I will not let this affect the rest of my life, it only makes me want to enjoy life more! Loving other people more and respecting them. I am Emily. A person. I have dreams of becoming an Art Teacher, and I am not going to let anything get in the way of my dreams!

Now that I have beat him, I know I conquer anything!

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