by Becky Gardner

Created on: June 09, 2009   Last Updated: June 14, 2009

Addiction, whether it be to alcohol, drugs, gambling, sex, or food is a disease, It is not our fault, we were just born this way. Addiction is the need to fill a hole that we feel inside of ourselves, but no matter how much we feed our disease, the hole never seems to fill. This hole that we feel is often caused by some sort of deep emotional and traumatic pain that we have experienced in our childhood or even as we become adults. The hole and pain that we feel from it, is just our own self-pity, self-doubt, self-consciousness and in the end we become self-absorbed and selfish. We as addicts try to numb the pain and in the process become complacent with the people, places and things in our lives that really matter, ultimately we become complacent with ourselves.

We begin to feel worthless, helpless and depressed, we start asking ourselves why am I like this?, what's the point in living?, and why can't I stop this insanity? We start projecting, wondering, will I still have this problem when my child gets married?, or will I be able to hide my addiction from my new boss and co-workers if I get that great job? We dwell on mistakes and painful memories from the past, thinking if only I did something or said something differently, my life now would be better or I would different. The first thing we must do when trying to overcome this pain, is understand that we cannot change the events in our lives that have already taken place and that even if we could, there is a good chance we would still be in the same place now.

Yesterday has gone and past, tomorrow is full of possibilities unknown, and today your life is happening, so take advantage now and change whatever it is that is making you unhappy. Often pain can stem from anger or resentment, when you feel angry or resentful towards someone try to figure out what it is you are really angry about, you might find it is something about yourself you do not like and it is easier to change yourself rather than another person. The pain you may feel from changing will not last and will be less then if you just stand still forever, but also you must aknowledge that pain is a part of life, as an addict we must ask ourselves how can I deal with this pain in a safe and healthy way.

Seeking professional help is part of recovery, when you start talking about who, what, where, when and why you are scared, angry or depressed you begin to unleash a flood of emotions and the pain that is attached. It is also helpful and therapuetic to do something for someonelse without expecting to be rewarded in return, the reward lies in the feeling of being selfless. When you begin to think of yourself less you will become selfless. Lastly, try to be patient and have patience, it is a virtue most take for granted. If you have patience in a moment of anger you will escape a lifetime of sorrow.

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