by Taina Patmore

Created on: June 09, 2009   Last Updated: June 16, 2009

Dear Grace,

You are the most wanted baby in the world. You saved my life. You brought your Daddy and me together. You are amazing Grace, and you haven't even been born. You see, they told me that I was sick, and the only way to treat my sickness was to remove a piece of my body that would prevent me from having babies. They told me that if I wanted to have a baby, I would have to do it right now. Daddy and I had only been living together for a year, but he told me that he wanted to have children with me, and if it had to be right now or never that he wanted to do it. So we got married within a few weeks in the most beautiful wedding anyone has every seen. Your abuelito and abuelitas were there, and your Padrino was the officiant. It was the happiest day of our lives.

That is, it was until the day we found out you were coming. Because they told me I only had a year before I had to undergo treatment, I knew I didn't have a lot of time to get pregnant. So when it didn't happen the first or second try, I got very nervous. In previous years, I had lost my relationship with God, and wasn't sure if I believed in Him anymore, but one day I got so scared that I decided to ask Him for help. I sat in alone in my car and prayed for Him to give me a baby. I promised him that if he did, I would never deny him again. I promised him that if he bestowed His grace on me I would name the baby Grace if it was a girl. I told Him I was scared that if He didn't help me, I would never be able to have children of my own. When I was done praying, I pulled out of the parking lot and turned on the radio. The song that was playing was "Amazing Grace". Daddy and I found out that you were coming two days later.

The doctors watched me very carefully, and ran all kinds of tests. When I was four months pregnant with you, they told me that there was no trace of my sickness. My pregnancy had triggered the antibodies necessary to kill it all. So you see, Gracie, you were my cure. Even before you take your first breath, you have ensured that I get to take many more.

You will be here in less than three months, and I can't wait to meet you. Do you hear us when we talk to you? Can you hear your Daddy play his guitar for you? Three months seems like a lifetime before I can hold you, and kiss you, and thank you for changing my life, but I can feel you exploring the little world you have inside my womb.

We talk about what you'll look like, and what things we can't wait to teach you. He wants you to learn his music. I want you to read my books. We both know you'll be an incredible beauty, and a force the rest of the world needs to watch out for. We know that you will own your Daddy in ways no one else in the world (even me) can compete with, and that when you're all grown up we will be true friends.

I am scared that I won't be a good mother, but I am ready to give it a try. I want you to know that I will always do my best, Grace. More than anything, I want you to know that no matter what fights we get into, or how unfairly you think I'm treating you, or how much you wish you could run away, that I loved you before you were born. Know that I wanted you more than anything I've ever wanted in my life. Know that you are the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me, and by making me a mother you have made my dreams come true. I promise not to rest until I have helped you make your dreams come true too.

I can't wait to meet you.

Love,

Your Mommy

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