by Brandy Seay

Created on: June 08, 2009

Not only do I live with OCD but so does my child. I do not remember growing up with OCD; I believe this horrible demon came into my life much later. What was the trigger? That is yet to be determined. However, seeing this in my young child is even more horrific. For me, I have to clean the house and yes I mean have to. I did not get the hoarding, I do not like clutter it causes me great anxiety. I have hand sanitizer in every purse, diaper bag, book bag and automobile. I have to check all the doors before going to bed at least twice. Even though the coffee pot and the curling irons have auto shut off, I still have to check to make sure I unplugged them. As the years have progressed however, some symptoms seem to get worse. After the birth of my second child, I could no longer sleep but refused any type of sleep medication. There was this unnatural feeling like if I rested, I could not protect my children. So I laid awake thinking of all of the what ifs. Thankfully, the man I married while I'm not sure he can fully understand is very patient. He had an alarm installed in the house including smoke detectors wired straight to the alarm. He did keep his sense of humor when I then "worried" what if the cats set off the alarm.

One night when my son was about two, my husband and I were watching a show where the discussion was whether or not OCD was hereditary. About five minutes into the show, my then two year old grabs his toy vacuum and says "don't worry Mommy I will clean this mess up." My Husband just looked at me. So did I cause this? I'm not sure if OCD is learned or if we are born this way. I had a therapist tell me that my Son was probably born with OCD and anxiety issues but that the issues at school pushed him into the "red zone." So again, I am not sure what the trigger was for me, but I know that sometimes my anxiety is bearable and other times it is off the charts.

It wasn't until my child started having night terrors about the Biblical teachings he was learning at his Christian preschool that I started putting two and two together with him. I tried to discuss this with the teacher; she only thought I was attacking her beliefs, that was a whole new arena for crazy! I could not make her understand that he could only focus on the bad things and he was having a hard time moving on from that. For example, I tried to give him allergy medicine and he told me that only God or Jesus could heal you and that medicine did not do anything,

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