by Alek Sandra

Created on: June 08, 2009   Last Updated: June 17, 2010

Depending on its severity stroke is more or less devastating but it is always life-changing not just for the person who has suffered it but also for his or her family and friends.

Warm and loving people may turn argumentative or downright nasty and if such transformation touches your spouse, parent or child it hurts to witness their emotional pain. Their frustration comes from the sudden loss of control over their lives, feeling of worthlessness and hopelessness.

It definitely will not be easy but that frustration must be addressed to make living with stoke survivor (later referred to as ss) more appealing for the whole family.

Most of all, family members must never neglect their own lives-if they do sooner or later resentment comes and may even pave the road to dislike. However, they will all have additional responsibilities. They all will have to try to help stroke survivor feel needed and back in control. They will need to restore hope which would fuel energy to exercise and live.

Ss will have physical, occupational or speech therapies either alone or with therapist , having a total control of the exercises, computer activities, voice recordings. Anyone can always suggest an exercise, point to interesting book or Web site, recommend a phrase for speech improvement recording. But the decision to follow it or not belongs only to ss who also decides about as many things as family members can ask (like clothing or meals). They must also ask for help in anything they can think of, math problem, or peer problem, or even choosing the dress color.

The ss must feel needed and somehow in control.

Family members may initiate additional activities, like playing ball, cards, board games, making decorative cookies. Of course if the person is paralyzed the only things they can do is massage and passive exercises but while doing it they need to talk about their activities and ask for opinions always assuring they count.

Family members must restore ss's hope for full recovery, no matter how devastating the stroke has been.. Internet and books are full of anecdotes and testimonials that they can use. According to Internet testimonials even people with lock-in syndrome (in which they had suffered a brainstem stroke and at the beginning could only move their eyelids) recovered! Such hope brings meaning to ss's life, gives willingness to participate in therapies. And definitely makes living with ss easier for the whole family!.

Stroke imposes very stressful situation on everyone involved but living with ss does not need to stay stressful for long. Laughter might be the very best medicine for stress. Again Internet and bookstores come to help with huge selection of very funny jokes and sayings. And the family might even start a "Happy journal" by cutting and pasting in a special notebook anything funny. It might be a great friend for rainy days!

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