by Richard Sprigg

Created on: June 08, 2009   Last Updated: June 11, 2009

It is intuitively obvious that, in a free country, parents have the power to end hereditary religious affiliation. The focus of this debate and the purpose of this article is to explore whether they should do so.

Religion handed down from one generation to another is typically a major factor in the life of the family, often being regarded by the parents as the one true religion. In such cases, the decision not to pass down the religion, and the moral value set that it contains, is a major one. Such parents may sincerely believe that in failing to do so they are endangering the immortal soul of their offspring, sending them out unprepared into a devil's playground of sin. Few parents will willingly endanger their children, and these individuals are no exception.

Religion may also be a cornerstone of the community in which the family lives, and to abstain from indoctrinating their children into the traditional religion of the family may cause both parents and children to incur a heavy penalty in terms of community reaction: Shunned by other families, teased at school and generally harassed, these individuals face having to move to another community if they decide to allow their children to choose for themselves.

Against these very real factors, we must weigh the right of every human being to choose for themselves: the fact that their choice may conflict with the beliefs of their parents will almost certainly introduce some stress into the relationship. Yet is this a bad thing? If the points of difference are discussed calmly and rationally, it may well be that the core values are similar. It is, of course, quite possible that there are major differences; yet if there is mutual respect for the value systems that each one has espoused, there is no reason for any ill-feeling. The parent has perhaps undergone some trials to provide the child with the opportunity to find their own path to the creator. In many cases the child, impressed by the faith that has given the parent enough moral strength to allow them that choice, will choose the same or similar faith.

The parent who allows the child to choose, and is dismayed by the choice, at least has the communication channel open with the child. The parent who has imposed a particular faith on a child, only to have them rebel and choose something they find unacceptable does not even have that consolation: battle lines were drawn at birth, and there can be no retreat.

I recall an old Irish joke, where the Parish Priest is talking to the children of the parish, asking what they want to be when they grow up. He asks little Mary Doyle what she wants to grow up to be, and she says "I want to be a prostitute, father." The priest goes red in the face, sits down and splutters "WHAT was that Mary?" Mary smiles and repeats, more loudly, "I want to be a prostitute, father." The priest mops his brow and says "Saints be praised, I thought you said a Protestant".

Let's leave those attitudes in the realm of humour, and not inflict them on our kids.

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