by Barbara FeliceHowarth

Created on: June 08, 2009   Last Updated: July 20, 2009

Losing a loved one, whether you are young or old can be a solace time. In most cases from past experience losing a younger family member or parent can be especially hard but there are certain mechanisms one can use to make this transitional period a little easier to deal with as time passes on. Just remember one thing; Everyone deals with grief differently and it is very important to respect that. The most important thing is to be there for them and listen to them. Let them get it out with a good cry. If your friend or family member is stoic, respect that. Some people don't like to share their grief with others and that's OK, just make sure they eat and try to get some sleep. Bring over some meals that just need heating up. Sometimes just them knowing you are there for them is good enough. Here are some tips you can share with your friend or family member for the first year following their loss.

Traditions: If you happen to lose your loved one right before a holiday, keep your rituals and traditions going. It's not healthy to say to your self "Christmas won't be the same so I'm not celebrating this year" Doing this will make things harder on you because it gives you more time to think about your loss. Instead, try keeping your rituals but maybe instead of doing them at home you can travel elsewhere to celebrate. The person you loved and lost won't want anything less for you. The truth is, it ends up being harder on the person who is left then it is the person who passed. Do what they would want you to do. You need to keep your life going, especially if you have younger family members. The surviving members need to know they are just as important and shouldn't be overlooked.

Anniversary of Death: When my mother was dying, the only thing she really enjoyed was a Wendy's Frosty and French Fries. I remember going across the street to fetch them for her and gladly I might add. Now, once a year on the anniversary of her death my husband and I go to Wendy's to commemorate her life. Do something on the anniversary that your loved one enjoyed, after time passes it naturally becomes a part of your life as a birthday celebration would.

Routine Changes: This in my opinion is one of the hardest things to deal with, especially if your loved one was ill and you spent every waking hour tending to their needs. Once they pass you find yourself with lots of extra time with nothing to do. It is important to keep busy and jump right back in to the swing of things once family and friends have left your home. Take a part time job or class to fill the time. Some find it comforting to start a charity in the loved ones name to keep their name alive which also helps with the grieving process. Sometimes time cannot heal all wounds but it will get better.

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