Every year, approximately 1 million children experience the divorce of their parents. A divorce can be devastating to family, friends but especially the children involved. It is of utmost importance to be able to help them cope with such an unfortunate turn of events. Children's reactions to their parents divorce are very mixed, and knowing how they react, and what they think will greatly assist you in helping them cope.

*Teenagers:

*Reactions / Thoughts: Teenagers can experience a drop in self-esteem and may develop early emotional independence to deal with the negative feelings about the divorce. They become angry and confused and this can cause relationship problems, decreased school performance, drug and alcohol abuse, depression, and aggressive behavior.

*Things to do to help them cope: For teenagers it is important for them to understand.

If you feel that the youth is mature enough to understand why the divorced happened, by all means attempt to explain. If they understand they will be able to accept it much sooner and will not involve themselves with harmful habits.

*Older children:

*Reaction / Thoughts: Children that attend grade school will possibly become temperamental or distant; show more aggression and can be very irritable. Worst of all they may feel unloved and deceived by the absent parent.

*Things to do to help them cope: Similar to young children. Make them feel loved and wanted, after a divorce they feel cheated out of love and abandoned. Talk to them; reassure them that you will never abandon them and that everything will be fine.

*Young Children

*Reactions / Thoughts: At the age of 4 to 5, children often feel guilty because they believe it's because of them that the divorce took place. They may misperceive the events of the divorce situation, be afraid that they will be abandoned, and have nightmares more often.

*Things to do to help them cope: Communication is the key. Communication is very important as you want to do everything to make this child feel loved. Remember to stress many times that it is no their fault and if they are moody always ask what's wrong and talk with them. If you feel comfortable try to explain the best you can why you divorced in the most positive way. It is difficult but can be quite helpful.

*Infants:

*Reactions / Thoughts: Children younger than 3 years will most likely mimic their caregivers' grief, sorrow, and preoccupation. He or she will often display irritability, increased crying, and fearfulness of being away from someone they love.

*Things to do to help them cope: Try to appear positive around your child. They mimic you so attempt to be calm, happy, and at ease. It will be hard but it is the greatest way to help them cope. You may also choose to have the other parent see the child. This may help but it is up to each individual.

I hope this article helped and was informative. Best of luck to you.

Learn more about this author, Adam Fletcher.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

---

Add your voice

Know something about Helping children of all ages deal with divorce?
We want to hear your view. Write now!